Where And How Do You Bloom? What Makes You Bloom?

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Until, I moved to Chiang Mai, and started living with my kinfolk, I used to think I am insane. I used to think that I was an alien. That no one on this planet was like me, and that I was going to go crazy before the end of my life, if I ever got there. I believed I was an alien that was planted here, for some weird experiment. I didn’t understand the point of me, my existence, my life.

I lived, because I had to live. My parents wanted me to live, my friends wanted me to live, and this world wanted me to live. In fact, I kept on believing that there was some reason for my existence. I had to believe that, because if I didn’t, I would have really gone insane, or I would have killed myself a long time ago.

I am not saying, I am special in anyway. There are many people on this planet who feel exactly the same way. They feel out of place, and therefore, they think that they don’t belong. They might be born in Texas, but might believe in the pro-life denominations. Or they might be born in Israel, and have Moslem tendencies. These are just random examples, but you know what I mean. (more…)

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Digital Nomads Don’t Need Much Stuff – They Can’t Carry It With Them

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Last month, I went back home to Toronto for a quick family visit, which was really nice, and made me realize how much I missed my family when I am here. Ideally, all of my family would move to Thailand, and we would all live happily ever after, but that’s another story.

While I was there, I rummaged through the few boxes of stuff that I have left behind in my parents’ home, as all children do. There were maybe 6-7 medium sized cardboard boxes. If you can imagine the scene. I am standing there, dressed in a huge winter jacket, thick socks, and boots, in my parent’s cold room in the basement, freezing my ass off. From the heat of Chiang Mai (CM), Thailand, coming to this dreary cold, I was not making the transition as gracefully as I wanted.

I am down there, dressed cozily to the nines, and I open my boxes. (more…)

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Have a Shitty Life? Make It Better Now.

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Shitty Life

It’s a weird journey that we are all on, isn’t it? I mean, we think we are growing, and we are getting somewhere, wherever that place might be to each person. And suddenly, a roadblock appears, or worse, something much harsher. Our shitty life begins.

The few steps forward that we have taken are all taken away from us. We stumble backwards. We try to crawl forwards, but nothing really gives. Stuck, we try this and that and the other. But again, nothing gives.

We are lost. Alone. Lonely. Sad. Stressed. Depressed. And a hundred other emotions course through us, mostly bad ones. We wonder if we are ever, ever, ever, going to be relieved of the burden under which we live. Are we ever going to get out from under this rock that is pressing down on us? Preventing us from breathing, and from living to our fullest?

Crying About Your Shitty Life?

We wake up every day crying about our shitty life. Weeping. Bawling. People avoid us. They think of us as that person who mopes around a lot. “She just lost a boyfriend, or a job, or some money. Can’t she get over it already? For God’s sake.” They say in groups, huddled around, judging, and condemning us for feeling.

Why don’t they get it, we wonder? They have been through this before. Why don’t they commiserate with me? But they know, as we know, as everybody knows, that this is just a temporary thing. It comes as fast as a flash flood. And it leaves as slowly as a peaceful brook.

They know it’s going to leave us soon. So, they are just waiting for that. But in our minds, we are thinking, “I’m never going to be over this. I am going to suffer this shitty life forever!!”

(more…)

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When The World Throws Curveballs At You, And You Get Excited

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When I was younger, I used to get annoyed when my plans didn’t work out exactly the way that I had so meticulously written out. I mean, c’mon. I took the effort of writing all of these awesome ideas out, they should at least do me the favour of working out the way I imagined. But more than annoyed, I think I used to get paralyzed when my plans didn’t work out the way I imagined.

I would be like a deer stuck in the headlights. I didn’t know what my next step should be. Should I keep on going on the path intended so I could test out the failed venture and make it work? Or should I scrap the whole thing and try something new? How long should I keep on going on the failed venture, before I realize that there’s no salvaging it?

So many questions. Not even a single answer. In fact, I swam around in a haze of confusion, and loaded myself up with carbs to make myself feel better for the next few days after the incident. (more…)

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Want To Be Unfuckable? Meditate And That Gift Is Yours.

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Okay, so swear words in the name of the blog post – perhaps that is not a good start, and perhaps it is. You gotta take the plunge into the deep end, right? Anyways, why would anyone want to be unfuckable? And what the hell does that even mean?

First of all, it’s not a real word, so there. If you are going to message me with an excerpt from the Webster’s Dictionary 21st century edition showing me an empty space, where unfuckable is supposed to be, don’t.

Second of all, Unfuckable is an attitude and an agenda. It isn’t something you can show to the world. Just like you can’t pierce your chest, tear your heart into two, and show the world where the love of your life resides. The same way you cannot show the world that you are a beast. Or that you are in beast mode.

All the world sees are the residual patterns. It sees that you are resilient, and bouncy. You are Anti-Fragile, as Nassim Taleb would say. You not only bounce back from things. But you look forward to the bad shit as much as the good shit. (more…)

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My Gypsy Heart Is So Ecstatic To Be In This Creative Sinkhole

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When I was younger, I always knew that I wanted to be a writer. It was like, that had been imprinted into the insides of my heart, irrevocably and forever my destiny. But, as the world intervened, I was made to realize (falsely) that I will never make any money from being a writer, and I should find some other vocation. Some other vocation that paid better, much better, has more security, and more stability associated with it.

Ah, if only, I had been stronger in my mindset, and realized that it doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter how much money I could have made from the writing thing, because it was something that my gypsy heart wanted to do.

For the next 20 years (I am 34 now), I worked on various odd and end jobs. Marketing. Sales. Officiating. And so much more. It was all for naught. There was no point to it. My heart kept on going back to creating, and writing. It wanted to do that so badly. (more…)

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Do You Care About What You Are Doing With Your Life?

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The question I ask in the title is a question I ask myself on an almost rhythmic daily basis. Every moment of every day, I am sitting down doing something either on my own, or with someone. And the question comes up for me in those moments.

Our life, as a human being, as a sentient being, is made up of moments. Each life is a string of moments. We think it’s about the days, and the weeks, and the months, and the years. But the reality is that it’s all about the moments. A moment passes by, and whatever we were doing in that moment, that is our life.

Each time, we do something we love in a moment, that moment has meaning, and is powerful. But every time (and this is more common), we do something in a moment that we dislike, or despise, that moment has been absolutely and interminably wasted. (more…)

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Is A Project Only Successful If It Makes Money?

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You guys know most of the posts I write on here are based on real life meanderings of my brain. I literally spend hours in my apartment pondering over random ideas, thoughts, feelings, emotions, and other stuff. I share most of it on here, because I have a philosophy in life – If I am going through something, there are probably hundreds others who are going through exactly the same thing. It is a certainty to me, as it gets proven over and over to me.

Okay, so what are we going to talk about in this blog post?? Projects, creativity, money, and the misleading idea of success. A lot to cover in the next few thousand words, so let’s get on with it. Shall we??

I just launched a major new creative project. When I say, major, I mean, my life’s work, my opus, my grand oeuvre. Whatever you want to call it, I cared about this project a lot. It was important to me. More important to me than my kidneys (as I skipped going to pee a lot, while working on it). More important to me than my relationships (as I skipped a lot of family and friends’ gatherings to work on it). (more…)

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Should You Do It Your Way Or The World’s Way?

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They say, “If you don’t know where you are going, any road will take you there.” That has never been more true than right now. We are at a crossroads of time and space, where more than ever we are capable of living a life that is sculpted truly by our hands. A life that is uniquely suited to every random and non-random aspect of our unique selves. A life that is built to suit us so perfectly that we spend all of our waking time in some sort of flow state.

So why do I even ask the question, if we should do it our way or the world’s way? Haven’t I already answered the question? We should do it our way, obviously, you are thinking. Duh, you are giving away the climax before the story has even begun, right?

Well, that’s the reason I posed the question in the title. (more…)

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