Recently, I was sitting with an acquaintance of mine. She wanted to pick my brain, and even though, I absolutely despise that phrase, I decided to do it, because I don’t want to be a completely selfish human being. As we were sitting down, and chatting, I explained to her that I go to bed at around 730 or 8pm, because my nighttime routines take a bit of time, so I actually fall asleep around 830 or 9pm. And then, I wake up around 530 or 6am. Depending on the day.
Her comeback to that was, “Wow, that’s around 9 hours. You must have no stress in your life at all.”
I wanted to cut her to pieces right then and there, because she was making an assumption about my entire life and persona based on the fact that I sleep really well. The truth is that this person that I was speaking to is absolutely fucking miserable.
She’s unhappy. Absolutely unhappy. Her solution to all of her misery?? To sit with other miserable people and chatter and whitter about it all freaking day and night.
I Told Her To Stop The Verbal Diarrhea And Actually Sit Down In Silence
My main issue with people who are sitting all day long and chatting about the same things over and over again is that nothing actually ever gets done. Nothing. They sit around and talk about the same issues day in, and week in. That’s all. There’s a lot of chatter, but there’s no work done.
Then, they wonder why they are still so miserable, why they still haven’t made any progress.
Stop the verbal diarrhea. Not only for everyone else’s sake, but more truly for your own sake. It’s just such a waste of time. Seriously, such a waste of my time, because I have to sit and listen to you go on and on about nothing. And for you, because you think, mistakenly, that all of this time you spend talking about your problems is actually going to fix your problems.
No, it isn’t.
Your problems, your misery, your drama will still be there a few hours later. Hours and hours of whittering about it does not make it go away.
You know what makes it go away, slowly but surely? Action. The right kind of action.
What Is The Right Kind Of Action, Then?
Of course, that was the next question she should have asked me. But it wasn’t. She didn’t say anything. There was a pattern that she had fallen into. She complained about things, and then, she complained about things some more. And that was all.
But the truth is the next step to it all is to take the right kind of action.
Now, of course, I would like to sit down with each of you, and say, do this one thing and the world will be your oyster. I wish, I could do that. I really wish I could do that. In fact, that’s what everyone I speak to, asks me for.
[bctt tweet=”Give me that magic pill and I will be your slave forever.” username=”BoomShikha”]
But, there is no magic pill. I do think consistency is one of those magical things, as is meditation.
Maybe also journaling, and morning routines.
In reality though, most people if given these magical tools, will not undertake them for more than a few days. In fact, most people will hear about these magical tools, and will hear that they worked for someone else, but they will know for a fact that it will not work for them, and oh what’s the point anyways.
The Magical Tools Formula Differs For Every Person
Yes, chatter and whitter is not the right thing to do. Action is. But what kind of action? And how will I know what combination of actions to use for myself?
The truth is everyone has to figure out their own special magical formula of right actions. I tried so many different ways of living my life, before I fell upon my magical formula that I follow to a T, in my current day-to-day affairs.
But, I tried the corporate life, climbing up the corporate ladder, focusing on Real Estate, doing sales, marketing technology, and more. And then, I quit the corporate world, and I tried blogging, and life coaching, and entrepreneurship, and more. Even after that, I tried writing fiction, and YouTube videos, and meditation, and consistent, persistent action over a long time, and flow state.
Even now, I’m constantly tweaking the combination of actions that I work with. My morning routine is looked at and changed up constantly, based on feedback from myself. I am always looking at my weekly schedule to see what works, and what doesn’t work for me.
I’m always looking at all of the different items that I work on consistently, to see if they still provide value to me or not.
But The One Thing I Don’t Do Is Whinge About My Life
Life is short. You think it’s short, and then you realize that it’s even shorter than you imagined it might be. So it’s short, we get it. We are all going to die soon.
My choice with that is to spend my time, my precious time on this planet, on right action. Whatever that means to me on that particular day. I absolutely refuse to spend any of my precious time complaining, whining, bitching, moaning, and talking about how miserable I am (I am not), and how my life sucks (it does not).
More importantly, I refuse, absolutely refuse to spend any of my precious time, sitting and listening to other people complain about their life and how they are miserable.
If you wish to do that, please go ahead and do that. I’m not attracting that kind of negatively-pulsed energy into my life.
I’m the creator of my universe, and I’m not saying that my universe is absolutely perfect, and there is nothing negative here, but instead of talking about things that go wrong, I choose to do something about it. I’m going to make an action plan and make change happen. And if I can’t change something, I am going to accept it, and make it a part of my beautiful destiny. Booya!
People Don’t Understand When You Won’t Whine With Them
Unfortunately, this means (tongue-in-cheek), that I do not have many friends on this planet. Why? Because most people want to sit around all day long and complain about everything that is happening in this world. They want to complain about their parents for not raising them well. They are ever ready to complain about the world that is falling to pieces, the governments that suck, the environment that is dying, the people that are selfish and narcissistic, the fishes that are poisoned, and so much more.
I mean, seriously, there is a lot of shit to complain about. There is not enough time in the day to complain about everything that there is to complain about. Life can be so tough, sometimes.
But the problem with us, with us doers, us action-takers, is that we don’t have time to sit around and complain. That takes up energy, and mental power, and we are too busy working on ourselves, through all of those amazing tools. My tools are proper nutrition, daily movement, great night’s sleep, creative work, meditation, journaling, self-reflection, and self-love.
That’s a lot of moving pieces. I don’t have to time to sit with you and whinge, because I got shit to get done. I have stuff to do. So, move out of the way, people!
It’s Not About The Glorification Of Busy
Far from what people think when they see me doing all of this cool stuff, I’m not advocating people stay busy for the sake of being busy. That’s actually another form of addiction, and it’s not the right action that I am speaking of.
I spend a lot of time, I mean, a lot of time, in self-reflection. I spend a lot of time sitting around, in quiet places, surrounded by nature, staring off into space, thinking about my life, about myself, where I’m going, where I’m coming from, am I happy, am I productive, am I successful to myself?
This time might seem from the outside to be an absolute waste of time, but the truth is that I get a lot out of it. It’s actually equivalent to action time for me. I learn a lot about myself from it, and I use these learnings to become better and better every single day.
Thus, it’s not all about movement. I’m not telling you to overwork, and never stop moving. I’m not telling you to burn yourself out. Not even a little bit.
Take the time to be on your own. But don’t spend that time complaining or whinging. Or moaning or bitching. That’s a waste of your energy. A waste of your time.
Your Mind Palace Needs Better Thoughts And Energy
You guys know that your mind, your brain, your thought processes, can only hold one thought at a time. It can only work on or process one thought at a time. That’s why, scientists have realized that humans cannot actually multitask. In fact, when we multi-task, our brain moves very rapidly from one task to another.
Your Mind Palace can only hold one thought in it at a time. It is your choice as a creator, what those thoughts will be. Will they filled with negativity, hate, misery, and that sort of energy? Or will it be filled with right action, and positivity towards the future? Will it be one or the other? Because it can only be one or the other.
You cannot have both at the same time. You can’t say, I was positive yesterday for a little bit around 5pm, so I can be negative all day today. I have fulfilled my quota of positive this week, it should stay with me for a while.
It doesn’t work that way. I’m sorry to tell you this.
As a creator of your beautiful universe, decide which thoughts you will let into your mind palace and which ones are going to be discarded and run off before they even get a chance to cross the moat.
Negative Thoughts And Negativity Is So Pleasurable And Addictive
I spend a lot of time, as I said before, surrounded by negative people. They love to complain and moan. That’s great for them. But I have noticed that sometimes I will get caught up in the drama that they are portraying in front of me, and I’ll get so caught up in it, that I’ll forget that I have other things to do.
[bctt tweet=”I have noticed in these moments that it’s actually so much fun to be negative.” username=”BoomShikha”]
To think negative thoughts can be so pleasurable. To moan, bitch, and complain, can be so addictive, so pleasurably addictive.
Sometimes, I just cannot tear myself away. I just want to sit there and bitch and complain with them. Or at least listen to them bitch and moan and complain. It’s just so fascinating. So entertaining. It’s better than watching reality TV shows.
Why would I want to give that up?
I get it. There’s a reason some people have as many as 40,000 negative thoughts a day. They are powerful, addictive, and oh-so-pleasurable.
That’s why we need to get out of that trap as soon as possible. I’m serious, now. Don’t let yourself get caught up in that pleasure train. You will not be able to get off. I know, I have been stuck on it before.
When The Choice Comes Upon You, Do Something, Don’t Just Complain There
I spent time around a lot of negative people, and a lot of action-oriented people. Who do you think I like hanging out with more? Who do you think I avoid a lot?
You guessed it.
The positive, action-oriented people aren’t stupid, they aren’t foolish, they aren’t delusional about the world. They know that the world can suck sometimes, and that life isn’t perfect. They get that, but they know that there’s no point thinking about that stuff. That’s been the case since the first Neanderthals walked the planet, or even longer than that.
So they stop complaining about the inevitable, and they get down to business. They work their asses off. They work on things that they really care about. No complaints. No whingeing. There’s no time for that.
I know I have said this before. But I will say this over and over and over again. YOU ARE GOING TO DIE SOON.
Sorry about the Caps lock. I know, I’m the worst. I keep on talking about the worst thing on this planet. No one really wants to think about their death. I know that. But the best way to live is to think about your death constantly.
Realize you are going to die. What if you were to die right now? And while you were about to die, you realized you spent the last few minutes before your death, complaining. God, that would suck, wouldn’t it?
Don’t do it. Stop just talking about it. There’s no point to that. Do something. Anything. Anything is better than being a Moany Whinerson.