The question I ask in the title is a question I ask myself on an almost rhythmic daily basis. Every moment of every day, I am sitting down doing something either on my own, or with someone. And the question comes up for me in those moments.
Our life, as a human being, as a sentient being, is made up of moments. Each life is a string of moments. We think it’s about the days, and the weeks, and the months, and the years. But the reality is that it’s all about the moments. A moment passes by, and whatever we were doing in that moment, that is our life.
Each time, we do something we love in a moment, that moment has meaning, and is powerful. But every time (and this is more common), we do something in a moment that we dislike, or despise, that moment has been absolutely and interminably wasted.
My Question Keeps Me On Track On A Moment By Moment Basis
Okay, so as a major people pleaser for the longest time, I spent almost every moment of my life doing things I disliked. But I did them because people around me, people who told me that they loved me or cared about me, wanted me to do those things.
All of it was done to please someone in my life. Please everyone else except myself – that seemed to be my policy. Well, not anymore. Nowadays, my policy is to please my soul or spirit first. So I ask myself the question – What am I doing with myself right now and is this something I want to do?
Every time I ask myself this question, I am going deeper into the mode of being in touch with what my soul likes to do, and what my soul gains from doing. This is so important to prevent soul-death that is a common occurrence in today’s world.
Okay, so I ask myself this question over and over again. Some moments, the answer is a resounding “Yes, I love what I am doing right now.” And other times, it is a resounding “What am I doing with my life?”
Make A Log Of Your Responses When You Ask Yourself The Question
My thing after asking myself this question over and over again is to log my entries. In my head. In my spirit. If I have a series of moments where I keep on saying that I am hating my life, then that is a warning sign to me. I need to make some changes and change some of the choices that I have been making with my time.
If my answer comes back positive every time I ask it, then that’s a good sign. I am doing what I want with my life, and I am on the right path. It’s awesome.
But I wouldn’t know where I was going, unless, I asked this question of myself on a moment-by-moment basis. It is so important to keep on asking yourself this question as often as possible.
Our Soul Can Bear A Few Years Of Deadening, But Not Forever
This soul death that I speak of is a very common occurrence in normal society. I have seen it affect so many people, who are walking zombies. People who have spent way too much of their time succumbing to the pressures of society and saying yes to things that they didn’t really want to say yes to.
Saying yes to things that you would rather say no to, isn’t as bad as it sounds. I mean, you want to have friends, and you want people to like you, right?
Yes, of course. So you do it once or twice. And you see that it gets you so much positive reinforcement. People like people who go along with them. Society rewards people who go along with their plans for them. Parents love children who are obedient and do what they say.
So we keep on going on that path. Even though that path means that we are saying no to our soul, to our spirit.
We keep on saying yes to others, and saying no to ourselves. We don’t actually end up doing what we want for years on end. For some people, it ends up being their entire lives.
Souls Die When They Are Stifled For Too Long
Have you ever met a person who has been a people pleaser for so long, who has followed everyone else’s rules for them for so long, that they have no idea what their own desires or needs might be?
They have forgotten what they want to do with their time on this planet. It’s a complete mystery to them. If you asked them, what would they like to do, they would balk at the question. No one has ever asked them that question. No one has ever cared before what they wanted.
Our spirits, our essence, whatever you want to call it, needs its freedom. It is just one of those untenable laws of this world. The more you say no to a child, the more the child is going to deteriorate. The same applies to our spirit.
Most of us in our hurry to be liked or to get somewhere, tell our spirits no a hundred times over. Perhaps, just in one day. We are always killing our spirit, to get more money or get more fame or get more friends or get more respect.
Whatever it might be, our spirit suffers.
After A While, Our Spirit Becomes Non-Revivable
When a human being dies, there is a point at which they are still alive and a point at which they are dead. There is a clear distinction between the two phases of death and life.
But in soul death, there is no such demarcation. There is nothing like that. It doesn’t work like that. It seems like there is no point to which you can say, “This is when my soul died, when I told myself for the sixtieth time that I cannot go dancing, because I need to work, and make money.”
There is no such demarcation point. There is no clear line here.
Our souls die over a long period of time, and through a lot of serious assault to ourselves and our dreams. We tell ourselves over and over again, we will have time when we are older. But will we really? And aren’t we just lying to ourselves, just like we lie to our children that we will have more time for them later?
It’s all bullshit. And our spirits sense that. They know the truth. The time will never come. And that causes them to give up, shrivel up, and die before their time.
The Walking Zombies Of Our Time Are All Around Us
So many times, I was eating my meal at a table surrounded by other people, and I would notice this conversation going on…
“So what did you want to do now?”
“Oh, I don’t care. I am not interested in anything. Everything bores me. You pick.”
“What about the elephant camp? Or the temples?”
“I have seen it all. I don’t care. Just pick something.”
And on and on and on. It’s not even just the conversation that’s going on. I would look up from my plate of Tom Yum soup and I would see a face that was devoid of emotions. A body that was devoid of feeling. And a soul that was devoid of everything.
They literally don’t care about anything. Even their voice comes out flat. Devoid of meaning. Or fluctuations. Or any kind of tone.
It’s sad, of course to notice that. But more than that, I see it, and I promise myself that I will never get there.
I Would Rather Die Than Let My Soul Die
My promise to myself is that if I ever became one of these walking deads, I would kill myself, rather than be a soulless dead human being. Rather harsh, I agree, but absolutely necessary.
I don’t think I will ever get to that point. Because I love life too much, and I love this world that I live in a lot as well. I am fascinated by everything, and interested in everything. Excited to be alive, and excited to be here.
I want to see everything, experience everything, be everything, do everything, and live to the fullest.
Every morning, I wake up and I scream out in joy – I am alive, and it’s another beautiful day to be experienced. I journal in the morning, and I write, “The world is my oyster and I am ready to experience its delicacies.”
The world fascinates me. I want to live here. In this world. Right now. To the max. My soul singing, dancing, and ripping its heart out to be so alive and so truly here.
It is a magical time for me to be here, and I want everyone to feel about life exactly the same way as I do.
But I Cannot Take You There – You Have To Pump Up Your Soul Yourself
I am rather lucky to live around so many awesomely alive people. They are so alive that you can feel their aliveness pumping through their veins and their bodies into you, when you walk past them. I would be sitting with them at dinner, or breakfast, and I would feel a surge of joy and radical happiness seeping into me, drip by drip, like an IV of vitality.
I am lucky that way.
But I think it’s very rare that you would be surrounded by people like this, especially if you’ve been killing your soul over time. I am a major proponent of the belief that it is our own responsibility to pump our souls up. It is our responsibility because no one else knows what our soul wants and likes to do.
My soul loves to put on house music in the middle of the day and do some random dance moves until the heat and the sweat gets to her. She also loves to try out all random foods from all over the world, and see what she likes and doesn’t like for future reference. She loves to place her entire body into a cold shower on a hot day or a cold pool on a sweltering day and see how it affects her body temperature. Writing. Singing. Drinking water. Puppies.
There’s so much she loves and wants to do, see, and be.
But no one else can know that about me.
The same thing applies to you.
People Message Me Wanting Me To Transfer My Joy To Them
Funnily enough, I get a lot of messages from people, who want me to tell them how to be happy. How to be joyful. How to feel more joy and vitality and vibrancy in their lives.
They want me to give them a blueprint of happiness.
Ha! If such a thing existed, what would be the point of living? There would be no point of life, because everyone would already have the answer. But the point of life is to figure out the happiness formula for yourself. It is your responsibility to figure out what your soul likes to do. What makes it happy? What makes it come alive, come vital, come vibrant?
You know better than anyone else on this planet. You do. Just trust the process. Trust the journey. You are your best expert in the field.
Do not go searching out for someone like me. I will not be able to help you. There is no way I would know where your happiness comes from. No way.
I barely found out for myself.
Each person is on their own minuscule journey. I cannot help you.
When The Changes Come, You Will Feel The Difference
The great thing about soul vibrancy or soul death is that you will feel the difference. If your soul feels great about something, doing something, or eating something, or dancing at something, then you will feel a difference from the top of your head. To the bottom of your feet.
You will feel it.
It is something that cannot be taken away from you. The feeling of joy, vibrancy, vitality, and love. It’s all there.
You don’t need to worry about finding it. It’s there inside of you. And it will show up. All you need to start doing is doing more things that makes you soul come alive. Think about the things that light you up. That make your toes curl up with happiness.
What are those things for you? Write them down, and then schedule them into your day and life.
Bring more of that joy into your life. It is important. Absolutely freaking important. This is your soul we are talking about here. Your soul!
Remember That The World Will Fight You Every Step Of The Way
When you get on this journey of soul vitality, you will notice a curious trend. This world that you live in, a world that seemed to be happy while you were killing your soul, all of a sudden will start hating you and wanting you to stop, when you are doing things that your soul loves.
It is an odd thing, indeed.
Everyone will start telling you things like, you don’t know what you are doing, or you are putting yourself in danger, or you should be doing what everyone else is doing, or something to that effect.
There will be a lot of dissension against you.
Don’t worry about that. This just means you are doing the right thing. Just keep on going. Keep on going. Keep on going.