I’m originally from India. Although I was 5 months old when my parents moved us first to the Middle East, and then to Canada. I’m grateful as an INFJ that my parents did move us, because Indians have really no concept of personal space. Which means that whenever I go back to visit my relatives, even though I love them so much, I always feel grateful to come back to the solitude and vast personal space etiquette of Canada. Conclusion: Energy matters.
It’s an INFJ thing. Which is devastatingly confusing to all of the people around me. Because if I like someone and I am friends with them, I am overly touchy-feely, hugging them, slapping them on the shoulder, or the thigh. Even in relationships, I love PDAs, and will always be glomping myself onto my significant other, much to the chagrin of the people around us.
Strangers Ick Me Out, Especially When They Touch Me
But put me into contact with a stranger, and I become like a grumpy bear who hasn’t had any sleep for days, and will snap your head off, if you do anything to disturb its slumber. I don’t like being touched, and I will shy away from physical contact with strangers, like a shy Bambi-lookalike.
Even on the dance floor (I love to dance, and can dance literally for 24 hours straight without much rest), I stay away from everyone around me. I usually end up finding a little cul-de-sac with my back to a safe physical wall. And I will spend my entire time at the club in that little space, away from people, and away from any sort of physical contact.
Of course, any sort of intentional physical contact, where a man comes up and starts rubbing himself up against me, is absolutely abhorrent to me. But even unintentional contact, where the person bumps into me by mistake, and spills a sticky drink onto my foot, is eschewed by me. I hate it. I absolutely detest it.
Why Do INFJs Behave Like They Are Wearing An Armor of Sharp Spikes??
I have spent hours and hours thinking about this particular subject matter. Why are INFJs so against the idea of physical contact? I mean, it’s not like we just dislike it mildly. We absolutely detest it from the deep bowels of our black hearts.
This is the conclusion I have come up to, and it has all to do with energy. Energy matters.
If you know anything about INFJs, you will know that they are all about energy. We are always thinking about our energy levels. We are also always trying to avoid negative energy, and move closer to positive energy, in people, situations, places, and the universe.
I believe that one of the reasons why I am so particular about the people that I allow into my physical contact space, is because I have to be absolutely sure of the person’s energy before I let them touch me in that manner. Every time you touch a person, you are not only physically touching them, but you are also energetically allowing them into your space. You are exchanging energies with them on a primal level.
Which means, that you better be careful about the kind of energy you are letting imprint all over your physical body.
Hugs Are A Heart Exchange And They Can Be Depleting, Depending On The Person
I remember this particular example vividly. Normally, I am not rude, and I try as much as possible to follow social rules and fit into society. I was sitting for breakfast at a yoga resort down south in Thailand. And this lady came out of nowhere and tried to give me a hug. I literally fell off my seat, and onto the ground, in an attempt to avoid her touch. Why was I so vehement about it? Normally, I would have let people touch me, even though I would internally cringe about it. Well, her energy spoke volumes to me and all of it was bad. There was a lot of negative shitty energy associated with it, and my intuition could sense it immediately.
There was no way I was letting all of that shitty energy come close to me by hugging her. Which to me is one of the most intimate act two people can engage in, our hearts close to each other, and synchronizing with each other (this has been scientifically proven).
Nowadays I Extend My Hand For A Handshake Or Give A Namaste In Order To Avoid Physical Contact
In order to avoid hugs or physical contact with strangers, I have developed a system. Now it helps that I am of Indian descent, and I am also fairly spiritual and hippie-ish. Therefore, I can use the gesture of Namaste, as a way of keeping people at arms length distance from me.
But mostly, I have started putting my hand out for a handshake. It’s simple, and effective.
If I preempt every meeting with a stranger with a handshake, it means that I can wipe off all of that strange energy afterwards, without much effort. And it also means that I don’t have to spend hours removing that negative energy which gets stuck onto me like a barnacle, and requires enormous effort to peel off from me.
Energy Matters And It Is Even More Important Than You Realize
You might be reading this and thinking that I’m exaggerating the effects of energy on my body. But I can give you several examples just from my life (and I’m sure every INFJ has stories like this), of times when a stranger gave me a hug, because I wasn’t fast enough to run away from it. And I felt physically ill from the remnants of that negative energy that was dumped upon me. I remember one time – I got a headache all of a sudden and I felt so nauseous that I had to excuse myself from the gathering. I had to go home to rest and recuperate.
Energy matters. I am sure as civilization gets older and we learn more, human beings will start paying more attention to energy in general. Which is something INFJs already do to a great extent.