Mood swings suck, don’t they?? I am visiting my family at the moment in Toronto, Canada. Even though I absolutely adore them to death, I have realized that if I spend too much time with them, I start feeling an immense amount of rage and resentment towards them without a break. It’s wholly without reason, and I know it is related to the lack of alone time, and not related to them at all.
Nowadays, I am able to catch myself before I fall into that rage mode, and remind myself to take a break from family time, and move myself over to my bedroom, to let my mind wander or read a book or some Mangas. But sometimes I am tired, or PMSing, or I am not able to be conscious enough to be aware of my random mood swings, and I end up saying some terribly mean things to my family or my unsuspecting friends.
It’s a terrible thing, indeed. But it’s something that we as INFJs can become aware of, and use to our benefit. The main thing in this article that I would like to convey to you INFJs out there is that we all need to start building a better mind-body connection, so that we are aware of when we are getting to that exhaustion point. Before we actually get to 90% depletion rate! Before we get to that point where we start spewing our tired exhausted bile upon unsuspecting unaware souls, we need to realize that we are tired, and we need to get some rest from socialization right away.
Building Our Mind-Body Connection Leads To More Healthy Behaviour And Less Mood Swings
Perhaps one of the best things any INFJ can do is work on building a better mind-body connection. It’s actually one of the reasons why I feel more accomplished, and more myself than ever. It was one of the main things that prevented me from feeling out of place in this world, and gave me that connection back to my authentic self that I was missing for so long.
The way I started on my mind-body connection journey was through Hot Yoga classes. I used to be a runner for the longest time. But running didn’t help me as much as hot yoga did. Through yoga and then through meditation, I was able to build a connection to my deeper self. To my true self. And to learn that I am alright, I am okay as I am, even perfect as I am, and it is alright for me to love myself.
As my love for myself grew, I was able to look at myself in the mirror, and give myself what I wanted. Which was more creativity, more opportunity to live my own way, and more freedom. I was able to respect myself more, and that led to other people giving me respect as well.
To say that my life transformed little by little is truly not an exaggeration. But it was a slow process, extending over at least ten years. It started with yoga. But it could really start with any kind of mind-body connection practice – Yoga, Tai Chi, Qigong, Meditation, Dance, Walking, Time in nature, and more. Everyone has their own way of going about this.
Even Despite A Great Mind-Body Connection, Sometimes INFJs Forget To Check In With Themselves
As I said earlier, even though I know that I have a limit to the amount of time I can spend around other people (no matter how much I love them), I sometimes forget. I want to please my family or I have a limited time with them. Or I am only going to see this one friend for this one day before she goes somewhere else. Or other circumstances crop up that prevent me from taking the appropriate time for myself.
In these cases, I notice myself going into that bitter, resentful state. I start hating the person I am with. And resenting them for taking me away from my alone time. I want to spew angry epithets at them, and I know I shouldn’t do that to someone so innocent. Hopefully, I will notice my anger rising, get up off my seat, tell them that I must leave, and hide in my room until I am able to replenish myself again.
It’s highly important for every INFJ to realize that each introvert is different, and has a different cut off point with regards to socialization. Some INFJs can spend a whole day with family and need only two hours of alone time. Some can only spend two hours socializing, and need almost the rest of the day to recuperate. Figure out what that mix is for you and then unapologetically take that time for yourself. It’s not only better for your mental sanity, but also better for your relationships with the people around you.
Some Activities Will Help You Recuperate Quite Quickly – Figure Those Out For Yourself
Again, each introvert is different in the way they replenish themselves when depleted. For me, the best thing I can do for myself is to go into a warm, cozy bed, with a blanket, and darkness all around, and read mangas, until I feel good again. It’s the surest way for me to get back to par again. I know this works, because I have tested it over and over again, all over the world. I travel a lot, and I need to replenish myself fast, as I have another day of mad sightseeing tomorrow that I need to prepare myself for.
Now you have to figure this out for yourself. What is your recuperation medley? Is it listening to music while you sway with your eyes closed in your living room? Or a hot bath with lots of lavender essential oils? Maybe a quick run with your Golden Retriever? Is it a tumble in the sheets with your sexy partner? Whatever it is, figure it out for yourself, and whenever you need to replenish your tired batteries, go use this emergency ointment as soon as possible.
Again, no need for apologies. You are taking care of yourself and that’s the best thing you can do not only for yourself, but for your loved ones as well. If you are not happy, they won’t be happy. If you are angry and resentful towards them, believe me they will feel it as well.
A fully-charged INFJ is a happy INFJ. That is the motto that we should all follow religiously. Mood swings begone!!
This so sums up my last 3 months staying with my sister and brother in law in lockdown after I went to their house to recuperate after an appendix opp. I feel myself bubbling up and clenching my teeth sometimes when I’m peopled out. One great source of recharging is listening to music and using it to create a nice atmosphere when I’m in my room reading. Currently just picked up Ram Dass’s Be Here Now, it’s a really cool book. Keep up the good work Boom
Yes, I can imagine! Quarantining with extroverts is torture. Hope you are doing well!!