When I was younger, I used to get annoyed when my plans didn’t work out exactly the way that I had so meticulously written out. I mean, c’mon. I took the effort of writing all of these awesome ideas out, they should at least do me the favour of working out the way I imagined. But more than annoyed, I think I used to get paralyzed when my plans didn’t work out the way I imagined.
I would be like a deer stuck in the headlights. I didn’t know what my next step should be. Should I keep on going on the path intended so I could test out the failed venture and make it work? Or should I scrap the whole thing and try something new? How long should I keep on going on the failed venture, before I realize that there’s no salvaging it?
So many questions. Not even a single answer. In fact, I swam around in a haze of confusion, and loaded myself up with carbs to make myself feel better for the next few days after the incident.
Every Thing Always Works Out In The End
It’s a weird thing, though. If I left well enough alone, and just went about my route, whichever one I chose, eventually, everything fell into place. Right into place. It was as if the universe was just waiting for me to be patient. Just a little patience, my child, and all of the treasures of the world will be revealed to you, she said.
Mostly though, I wouldn’t leave well enough alone. Of course not! I am the master of my own destiny. I want to do things my way. It’s blasphemous to think that I would just relax and let things happen as they happen. Are you crazy?
Of course, I had to put my foot, mouth, hand, and every other body part into the situation, to scramble it up, and make it come out even more convoluted than before. That’s the way to go about it, isn’t it? Ruin a situation to beyond recognition patterns.
If I had only just sat still, relaxed into the unknown, let go, and let the universe fix the situation for me.
Some People Are Naturals At Letting Go
My sister was telling me about this friend of hers. She never ever fights for what she wants.
I mean, she works hard, and she plays hard, and all of that jazz. But when she wanted a raise, she asked them for it once, and when they refused, she didn’t fight it, she didn’t cry about it, she didn’t throw a tantrum. She let go. A few months later, a change in legislation resulted in a 20k pay raise for her (and all lawyers in her province).
This doesn’t happen once or twice, but several times to her. Instead of learning from this, my sister doesn’t follow the tendency of letting go. Like me, she fights, and fights, and fights, and fights some more.
[bctt tweet=”It’s such an exhausting way to live. Isn’t it??” username=”BoomShikha”]
You fight for everything that you have. Instead of letting people or the universe or both help you, you fight everyone at every step. It’s just the worst way to be alive. But I know so many people like that.
Other People Are Not So Much Naturals, As Crap At It
I am not a natural at letting go. In fact, my entire family is not good at letting go. I am getting better at it, since I started meditating. But I am still crap at it.
The thing is inside my head, I am thinking, if I let go, and let the universe help me, then everyone is going to think I am lazy. I don’t want to be considered lazy. Laziness is the biggest sin someone could ever be accused of.
So I don’t let go. I fight tooth and nail. I tear my way through situations. Fight. Fight. More Fight.
After all of that fighting, and madness, I am just exhausted. So when I actually end up getting what I want, I am too tired, and too resentful to actually care anymore.
Ah, whatever, I received what I wanted. What was the freaking point?
Lost My Health, But I Got All My Goals Accomplished
It’s like the numerous scenarios of those rich, successful, and powerful people in the corporate world, who fought like animals to get where they wanted. But they couldn’t enjoy it, because they died of a heart attack on their 40th birthday.
Is that it? Is that what life is supposed to about?
Sometimes I wonder what would happen if I waved a magic wand, and all of my goals were accomplished. Would I be ecstatic? Not really.
The truth is, I would just set up more goals, newer goals, so that I could keep on fighting. Because I am so afraid of being lazy. Or a burden on society. Or unsuccessful (labeled by the people that know me).
Okay, so we are here. We got all of the things we wanted. We don’t have our health, but so what, I can buy back my health, can’t I? Isn’t there a store I can go to, to get an extra heart, or lung, or liver, or brain?
I mean, look at me, I am successful. I have power, money, riches beyond comparison. Set for life.
Got My Health, But Spent My Entire Life Fluffing About Doing Nothing
Okay, so I understand spirituality and letting go. But, and this is a big but, I don’t advocate becoming one of those pseudo-spiritual people either. Those ones who think that they are going to let go about everything, that they are not going to do any work, and surely, they will get everything that’s on their vision board.
I don’t like extremes. It feels like some people’s lives are played at the extremes.
I don’t want to play at the extremes. Where is the damn middle ground? For God’s sake, why can’t I have both? Why can’t I keep my health and sanity, and still accomplish all of the awesome things that I want to accomplish?
Why is that such a hard thing to believe for most people?
You can’t have it all, is a common referendum that is distributed out at all of the different life events you go to. You might be at a niece’s birthday party, and you tell people about your life. I want to be free, and I want to be rich, you say to them. They laugh at you. Don’t be foolish, you can’t have everything, they say.
Why not? I always ask.
I Want To Live In Middle Earth, Where We Are Healthy, Happy, And Wise
Middle Earth as a reference to Lord Of The Rings? Not really. I am more referring to balance. The middle ground. Where we have both our health, and we also are able to accomplish our goals simultaneously.
If we realize, and this is an important truth to realize, that the universe is on our side. Okay, you with me?? The universe is on our side.
That’s why whenever whatever happens, it is happening for a very good reason. In fact, I am going to be so bold as to say, no matter what happens, it is always happening to help you out. To push you forward. To help you achieve more and all.
[bctt tweet=”The universe is always helping us out.” username=”BoomShikha”]
The universe is helping us in ways sometimes that we do not understand. You lost a job to find a better dream job. Confused? Yes, that’s how the universe works. You lost a parent to find a long-lost sibling. Even more confused? Yes, that’s how the universe works.
Now When Life Throws Curveballs, You Will Get Excited
Once we realize this important truth, we will start getting extremely excited when the universe throws a curveball at us. These curveballs aren’t tests, or admonitions, or punishments. Not even a little bit.
They are the path.
The Obstacle Is The Way, as Ryan Holiday, says in his book of the same name. The path is not convoluted. The convoluted path is the path. The path isn’t riddled with upsets, and blockages. The upsets, and blockages are the damn path.
We are not supposed to run away from the obstacles. They are showing us the way to where we want to get to.
That’s why there is never any need for you to get confused. Ever.
Whenever anything happens, especially if it is out of left field, it is showing you this is where you are supposed to take the next step. It is showing you the path. Thus, if you understand this truth, the curveballs will become a source of excitement for you. They will be awesome. You will want more and more and more of them every single day.
No Need To Fear The Curveballs – They Are Your Magic Potion
Magic, everyone is looking for it everywhere. That magic pill to lose weight. The magic potion to make your ideal man/woman/person appear out of thin air. Those magic biscuits to help you make your business a 7 figure one.
But one of them is right under your nose. Right under it.
The curveballs. That the universe throws at you. On a constant, daily, perpetual basis.
Now, of course, our typical reaction to a curveball is to ignore it. Or to run away from it. Or even worse, to cry about it, lament about it, boohoo about it, and bore everyone with stories about it.
But what if, just what if you turned/switched/180-degreed your perspective about it? What if you believed that it was a good thing? Actually, not just a good thing. A fantabulous, fantastic, miraculous thing when a curveball lands in your lap.
That means, that every time a curveball is thrown at you, you can dance, and whoop with delight. You can throw a party. Or you can tell everyone at the bar that their drink is on you. You can tell your boss to stuff it, and move to the Bahamas. And so much more.
Let’s Chat About How To Let Go, For A Second
If you are at all a person like me, you don’t know how to relax. Not even for a second. In fact, if you are anything like me, relaxing is considered to be a bane, a sort of disease, a way to show people that you don’t care, a laziness syndrome.
The first thing to do, and this is something I practice on a daily basis, is to realize, that the more still I am, the more relaxed I am, the more the universe can send me signs, signals, and synchronous messages. Without stillness, the universe can never talk to me properly.
Even if the universe tries to tell me things, I am rushing around like a crazy person, not able to pay attention to anything. Thus, I miss crucial information that would otherwise have changed my life for the better.
I meditate every single day, not because I want to relax, but because it helps me get to some semblance of normality. Without meditation, I am vibrating at such a high frequency that sometimes I cannot breathe. Meditation helps me get to normal. To calm. To being.
If you don’t meditate already, please start.
Secondly, remember, if you let go, you get the gift of curveballs. It’s not that the universe isn’t always sending us curveballs, but when we are rushing around, as I said, we could possibly miss these curveballs. If we want that magic in our life, we need to pay attention, and we can only pay attention when we slow down.
More On Letting Go, From A Novice And Amateur
I am crappy at letting go. I am really, truly bad at it. But, I do manage it sometimes.
If I can do it, seriously, anyone can. Anyone on this planet can. All we need to do is come back to our breath over and over and over again.
Most of us forget that we breathe. That we need to breathe in order to be alive. There’s something called Screen Apnea, which is when people stop breathing, while watching TV, or watching their laptop screens, or their iPads, or iPhones, or whatever other screen you can fathom.
We are not breathing enough. So if we start breathing better, and more consciously, can you imagine how much more letting go we would be able to manage. As soon as we breathe more consciously, the more we can live in our bodies, rather than in our minds. The more we do that, the more we are able to let go of preconceived notions and maddening dilemmas. We can come back to the moment, and realize, the only moment that we have is right now.
The only moment that matters is this one. And then this one. And also this one.
Final Words About These Confounded Curveballs
Think about the last time, a curveball was thrown your way. How much time did you waste in unnecessary negative emotions about it? How many times did you say the words, “The universe hates me,” or, “I must be cursed,” or something to that effect?
If, and this is a big lesson here, perk up now… If you didn’t spend all of that energy or emotion unnecessarily on fighting the curveball, but instead, you let go, and leaned into it, embraced it, and went along with it, like a seaweed pummelled about by the sea, then, can you imagine how awesomely linear and stress-free your life would be?
The curveballs are going to come. That’s inevitable. We cannot prevent them. There’s no way to do that.
But, we can learn to embrace and love them.
That will change the entire game plan for us. It will change the way we interact with the world. It will change us.