Too many people are told that they are being selfish by taking care of their needs, desires, dreams, and goals first. But the world is forgetting that to save the world, the individual needs to save themselves first. It isn’t about being selfish. In fact, it’s the most selfless act you could be doing right now. And don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
That’s the problem with most change advocates, activists, and peacemakers in the world right now. They are focusing so hard on changing and improving the world that they forget themselves in the process. And now there is one more wounded soul in the world that needs to be saved. Instead of taking care of home first, they ignore home.
Home isn’t where the heart is. But it’s where all the self-healing and growth needs to take place first. It’s where we must all look first.
Are You Focused Entirely upon the Mote in Your Brother’s Eye?
In Matthew 7:5, Jesus says, “You hypocrite! First, remove the beam out of your own eye, and then you can see clearly to remove the speck out of your brother’s eye.” This is from World English Bible translation.
And it’s very clear in it that we need to first focus on self-transformation and growth before we can make any changes in the world.
Save yourself first!
I can give you a poignant example from my own life. From when I was 21 years old (I’m 37 as I write this), I wanted to be a motivation speaker, and author. I wanted to (and still want to) help others be the best version of themselves. Interestingly enough, no matter what I tried nothing worked.
I gave up on the whole endeavor then and started my own personal heroine’s journey of learning, self-awareness, and trials. It was a long process. Not until I was 32 or so did I feel like I have made some progress in this realm. I still had a long way to go, but then as if by magic, I started a YouTube channel that was actually mildly successful.
Success Is in the Eye of the Beholder
Well, it was mildly successful by outward standards. I had very few subscribers compared to the extremely popular channels, BUT I accomplished exactly what I wanted with the channel. That is, people watched my videos and felt transformed by them. They were able to alleviate their loneliness, anxieties, doubts, and fears.
They felt more in love with themselves as they were and they began their self-love journey happy and excited.
To me, this was a HUGE sign that my YT channel was extremely successful, no matter what the external parameters might say.
Now remember that this happened after more than a decade of self-work and self-healing. MORE THAN A DECADE.
I put that in caps lock because I want to emphasize that I wasn’t ready at 21 to do the work that I am more than ready to do now. I can now go about changing other people’s lives in a positive manner because I have done so for myself already.
I’m not at all perfect, of course. I have a long way to go. But I am further ahead than others who watch my videos and I’m much further ahead than that 21-year-old.
I Couldn’t Have Saved Others if I Didn’t Save Myself First
One person who has transformed themselves and gone through the fires of hell to come out on the other end has a RIPPLE effect on everyone around them. This has been quite apparent in my life. Of course, I have been able to positively influence the people who watch my videos or listen to my podcast.
But more than that, I notice a positive effect on everyone in my family as well. Astoundingly, they are doing things like meditating, or liver flushes, that they would never have considered before. They would have dismissed it without a second thought.
I know now that I had to get to this point here and now to be able to do what I do.
Every great spiritual teacher is the same (not that I’m counting myself among them). Buddha, Christ, Muhammad, and more – they all had to go through an extreme phase of self-transformation to be able to transform others. The reason they were able to create such monumental change in the world is that they created such astounding change within themselves.
What Does the Period of Transformation Give Us?
Not only does the period of self-transformation give us the tools to help others, but more than that, it teaches us the following important skills. It teaches us how to:
- Create proper boundaries so we can give without letting others intrude upon us
- Give in a balanced manner so we don’t overgive and overexert ourselves to exhaustion
- Be humble and people trust us more because they can sense we have been there
- Be kind to others because everyone is fighting a battle we don’t know about
- Keep growing because in order to give we need to keep transforming ourselves (the process is neverending)
I’m sure there’s a lot more to it. But this list is good enough for now. Remember, save yourself first!
Be Selfish First so You Can Be Selfless Later
This isn’t something givers or empaths or conselors want to hear. A lot of us don’t believe that we deserve to be selfish, especially if we have been givers all our lives. BUT, if you wish to become efficient and effective at giving and changing the world, you need to go through a period of ‘selfishness’ first.
I put ‘selfishness’ in quotes, because in fact, it is the most selfless thing you will ever do. It will change the world in such a positive manner, that it will turn out to be the most positively charged thing you will ever take on. The ripple effects of it will pervade the entire universe.
Save Yourself First – Be Selfish In the First Half of Your Life
Be selfish first. Take the first years of your life to do so. It’s important. And it’s not a waste of time. It’s not unnecessary.
And it doesn’t have to be a decade or more like me. I am a slow learner. It can be any amount of time that you need to feel like you are ready to give now.
More importantly, realize that this time you are taking to heal yourself is ALREADY starting the process of healing the world.
Seriously! I put that in bold, so you can read it again and again. The minute you start the period of self-transformation, you’ve already declared to the universe that you are going to start contributing to the good of the world. This ‘selfish’ period isn’t actually that selfish – because it’s already creating good vibes in the world.
God knows, the world needs more of that.
Every additional healed person in the world transforms the world. Will you take on that role for yourself? Are you ready to leap into the fires of growth and transformation? Remember, you are doing it for the sake of this world first, and then for yourself. Not the other way around.