Decisions May Be Hard For INFJs Because They Have A Tendency To See 8 Sides To Everything

  • Reading time:6 mins read

One of the main reasons my INTJ sister and I fight is because she doesn’t understand that I see the world in extreme shades of gray. Whereas for her the world is more a case of black and white, with a little bit of gray somewhere in there, sometimes. Decisions are easier for her, and not so much for me.

In fact, this is one of the main reasons why I despised myself for the longest time. I used to think that I am weak or I don’t really have a mind of my own, because I would flit from opinion to opinion, depending on the day, and my mood. Even now, I have a tendency to occasionally negate my awesome ability to see both sides of the situation, and mediate on the subject matter. 

Why are INFJs like this? Our ability to see all sides of the situation comes from our deep empathic capacity. We have a big heart, but we are also able to use said big heart, to peer into people’s minds and hearts, and see life from their perspective. Whenever I am in the middle of an argument between two people I love, I have an extremely difficult time siding with one person or the other, because truly I can see the world from both of their sides, and both of their sides are right in their own way. How could I possibly choose one more than the other? It seems an impossible task. 

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Why Is The INFJ I’m Dating Slowly Pulling Away From Me?

  • Reading time:6 mins read

One of the magnificent things about having a YouTube channel about INFJs is many non-INFJs message me asking questions about their beloved INFJs and about a potential doorslam. This really makes me ecstatic. I know how hard it can be for an INFJ, one of the introverted Myers-Briggs personality types, to be in a relationship, especially a romantic one. So, I take these questions as an opportunity to help my fellow INFJs find long-lasting love. 

Time after time, INTJs, INFPs, ENFPs, and others ask me the same question about their particular INFJ. “I finally told the INFJ that I like her/him, and at first things seemed fine. But now, it seems like they are slowly pulling away from me. I’m not sure if they are no longer interested in me in that way, or if they are just taking time to evaluate their feelings.”

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INFJs Need A Couple Of Hours Every Night To Detox, Process, And Let Go Of A Busy Day

  • Reading time:6 mins read

Mood swings suck, don’t they?? I am visiting my family at the moment in Toronto, Canada. Even though, I absolutely adore them to death, I have realized that if I spend too much time with them, without a break, I start feeling an immense amount of rage, and resentment towards them. It’s wholly without reason, and I know it is related to the lack of alone time, and not related to them at all. 

Nowadays, I am able to catch myself before I fall into that rage mode, and remind myself to take a break from family time, and move myself over to my bedroom, to let my mind wander or read a book or some Mangas. But sometimes I am tired, or PMSing, or I am not able to be conscious enough to be aware of my random mood swings, and I end up saying some terribly mean things to my family or my unsuspecting friends. 

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The Day My Life Changed Forever

  • Reading time:2 mins read

I had just come back from Thailand – it had been a dream trip. The trip had been absolutely epic. I had spent 3 weeks sitting by the ocean, under the sun, or the stars, contemplating the surf. No thoughts ran through my mind. I was calm, relaxed, and happy. I hadn’t touched a computer or looked at a screen for 3 weeks. My body felt the effects of it, too. I came back more flexible in my hips and my shoulders. I spent those beautiful moments with Harry. That was our first trip together. We danced together, and ate together.

I came back to Toronto and I had to go back to work right away, even though I was extremely jet-lagged. Although I was exhausted, I dragged myself to work. I had a 1-1 with my boss that Tuesday, and it wasn’t good. She wasn’t happy with my performance. I wanted to tell her right there and then to stuff the job and leave to go spend time with Harry. But I didn’t. I stayed and listened. I felt bad for being the person I am, who couldn’t work in a corporate field.

Then, Harry left on Jan 26th to go back to Alberta, and I had to go to work. I couldn’t even see him off to the airport. We had to say goodbye in the morning.

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Writing Comes From Writing More, Badly, Everyday

  • Reading time:3 mins read

Lots of people tell me everyday on my blog and on the streets (after they find out about my blog), that they want to be writers. I tell everyone of those individuals – everyone is a writer at heart, but when it comes down to it, very few of us actually take pen to paper and write.

Everyone has stories, hundreds of stories that they could write about. Don’t you believe that?

Everyone has anecdotes that they could relate to their readers a hundred times over. I definitely do…

Everyone has painful family incidents that would result in some great writing material. I’m sure you do as well.

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A Lesson From The Matrix – There Is No Hole

  • Reading time:5 mins read

The present moment, if you think about it, is the only time there is. No matter what time it is, it is always now. – Marianne Williamson

I have been trying to be more aware of why I do certain things when I do them. It’s a hard practice for sure, but extremely rewarding. I gain so many random insights from these observations. One thing I have been observing is when and why I go to Facebook (or social media sites in general). Or when or why I message people randomly.

I have realized that there is a need that I’m trying to fulfill here – everything I do is to fulfill a certain need of mine.

So I ask a further question.

What need am I trying to fulfill here? Am I just bored? Am I looking for attention? Am I looking for love? Am I trying to run away or fend off the present moment?

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I Want To Live Little No More

  • Reading time:3 mins read

Suffering is due to our disconnection with the inner soul. Meditation is establishing that connection. – Amit Ray

One meditation style that is extremely hard for me, but something that I like to practice from time to time, is ‘Observing the observer.’ I’m not an expert in this style, but what I have found is that there are thoughts that flow back and forth across my consciousness, and if I lift the veil on those thoughts, there is a deeper me.

This deeper me is the essence of me.

She (for lack of a better pronoun) is always there – serenely sitting and observing everything. She is unaffected by the waves of thoughts, the turmoil of emotions, and the ups and downs of life. I compare her to the deep ocean – the storm might affect the top layer of the ocean and cause it to be tumultuous, but the deeper layers are unaffected, serene and calm.

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INFJs Have A Foot In Both Camps – That’s Why They Never Fit Anywhere Perfect

  • Reading time:6 mins read

Something people always say about me is that fitting in is my middle name. I have friends in the nerdy tech circle, and I have friends in the hippie sage-burning circle. I have friends in the digital nomad circle, and I have friends in the spiritual community. And it’s not like I fit in perfectly into either group. It’s not like I am a square peg in a round hole, but I fit in just enough so that people in that group consider me a good friend or close acquaintance. I guess that’s what makes things difficult.

There is no circle or group in which I fit in perfectly. I can play the game and fit in reasonably well with all of the people that I hang out with. And I guess, that’s what it’s all about – playing the game well. 

In fact, one of the major complaints that I receive from INFJs who send me emails and messages everyday is this – I feel like I don’t belong anywhere. 

This disconnection from the people around them is one of the main reasons why INFJs feel so much gratitude, almost to the point of tears, when they discover the INFJ communities online. Comment after comment on my YouTube channel focused on INFJs says this – “Thank you for making me feel less alone, less like a freak. Thank you for giving me a space to completely and totally belong.”

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Why Do So Many INFJs Ignore Their Intuition, When It’s Truly One Important Superpower

  • Reading time:6 mins read

If I had to tell people one thing about myself that I absolutely despise, it’s this – I hate that I ignore the signs and messages that my Introverted Intuition (Ni) sends me on a daily basis. Even when it has lined the messages with neon red LED lights and flashed them in front of my face, I still manage to disbelieve its importance, or veracity. 

It’s not just me, though. Lots of INFJs message or email me on a weekly basis with stories of how they ignored their intuition to their own detriment, and that still didn’t teach them to stop doing that foolishness. It irks us to no end. We are like Spiderman who knows he has the capacity to save the world, but spends all of his city chasing after Lois Lane instead. I mean, lust aside, how many people in the world have such a powerful intuition at their fingertips? Not many. 

Why can’t we just appreciate the messages coming to us from our intuition? Can’t we just believe what it says? Why do we doubt its accuracy, time and time again? Why do we falter and disbelieve and end up needing more proof?

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