Why Do So Many INFJs Ignore Their Intuition, When It’s Truly One Important Superpower

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If I had to tell people one thing about myself that I absolutely despise, it’s this – I hate that I ignore the signs and messages that my Introverted Intuition (Ni) sends me on a daily basis. Even when it has lined the messages with neon red LED lights and flashed them in front of my face, I still manage to disbelieve its importance, or veracity. 

It’s not just me, though. Lots of INFJs message or email me on a weekly basis with stories of how they ignored their intuition to their own detriment, and that still didn’t teach them to stop doing that foolishness. It irks us to no end. We are like Spiderman who knows he has the capacity to save the world, but spends all of his city chasing after Lois Lane instead. I mean, lust aside, how many people in the world have such a powerful intuition at their fingertips? Not many. 

Why can’t we just appreciate the messages coming to us from our intuition? Can’t we just believe what it says? Why do we doubt its accuracy, time and time again? Why do we falter and disbelieve and end up needing more proof?

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INFJs Get Chatty Around Certain People And It Leaves Them Feeling Uncomfortable And Embarrassed

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Recently, I shared a meme with my YouTube community which consists mostly of INFJs, but also of other types. It said something like, “INFJ – I don’t like how chatty I get when I feel at ease with someone.” A day later, I had 23 comments most of which were at least a paragraph long, with people describing how they felt after they had had one of these chatty sessions themselves.

It was fascinating to me to witness this because it further reinforced the idea for me that I am not alone, and even when I think I am weird because I behave one way or another, I find out that a bunch of other INFJs or people on this planet behave in exactly the same way. The loneliness that tends to creep into me, dissipates very rapidly at such a knowing. 

Thus, I decided to share this post with you and with it certain ideas on how to avoid this extra-chatty nature of yours, or even better, embrace it wholly, so it can become part of your repertoire. 

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INFJs Don’t Know How To Alleviate Their Anxiety Sometimes, So They End Up Organizing Life Instead

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INFJs usually have no idea how they are feeling. What are feelings and how do they show up in the body? For a person with a poor mind-body connection, INFJs usually don’t know how they feel and end up emulating others around them who are feeling something. But this usually ends up in them picking up on the anxious and neurotic feelings of the people around them. 

It’s a Catch 22. We don’t know how to feel so we open up ourselves to other people’s feelings. Then we chameleon-ize ourselves. And that causes us to pick up unwanted energies from other people. Eep. 

Either way, an INFJ’s reaction to all of this anxiety or unwanted emotion is usually to clean house. Literally. They will start going into a frenzy of cleaning and organizing everything that they own, and everything that they can. 

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For The INFJ, It Was Never Ever About Being Right, But About Doing What’s Right

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This is a big thing for an INFJ, so if you are interested in learning more about us, please pay attention. This will actually happen a lot in real life, where humans will inordinate amounts of time arguing with some other human online or offline, because they have this weird desire to be proven right. 

As an INFJ, I look at most arguments and wonder why people are wasting so much time and energy arguing about something that doesn’t really matter. It doesn’t matter who’s wrong or who’s right. 

For example, in the argument between people who believe in global warming, and those who don’t, it doesn’t actually matter who’s right. Does it really? The whole point is that either way, humanity is killing off and endangering species and hectares of forest, left right and centre. And that can’t be good for the environment, no matter which way you look at it. You might not believe that the Earth is getting warmer, although anyone who’s living on the planet right now can sense that the days are definitely hotter… but you can see that overpopulation and overconsumption isn’t good for the planet in any case.

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INFJs Have A Tendency To Be Insomniacs When In Their Default Mode Of Obsessing, Learning, And Growing

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INFJs don’t know how to take care of themselves. We really don’t. I mean, we are good at taking care of others. We know exactly what all of the people, whom we love in our life, need. Exactly and always. We will be able to tell you how much food you need, how much alone time, how much water, and we will worry incessantly about your physical and emotional needs.

But we have no idea how to put all of that caring back upon ourselves. In fact, we are probably so busy taking care of others, and spending time on our obsessions, and interests, that we forget to do the basics for ourselves.

An Unhealthy INFJ With A Terrible Mind Body Connection

For an extremely unhealthy INFJ, it will be easy for them to forget all of the basics for days on end. In fact, I have had moments when I was younger when I forgot to eat, and sleep for days. I would skip two or three meals and then wonder why I had this pounding headache. I wouldn’t be able to sleep all night. And then wake up wondering how was I ever going to get through the day on no sleep. I would forget to brush my teeth (gross, I know!), and I would forget to change my clothes. Worst of all, I would forget to drink water for hours on end, as I sat there on my computer with my latest obsession, and realize that I was in the early stages of dehydration.

It’s not a nice place to be, especially since as an INFJ, we are also extremely wary of other people taking care of us. Thus, I would get into a mode where I had not taken care of myself physically for days, and a loved one would try to feed me or take care of me, and I would lash out upon them like a surprised viper. 

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INFJs Go Crazy When They Aren’t Allowed Their Time Away From People To Recharge

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Recently, I went travelling with my parents and sister to Morocco, something that has been on my bucket list, ever since I watched the movie, Casablanca. Now, believe me, when I say, I love my parents, and sister, more than anyone else on the planet. But, I was about ready to commit murder at the end of the 9 days, because I had spent almost 24-7 with them for those 9 days, except when I was dead asleep to the world, exhausted from all of the sightseeing.

Thankfully, I was sharing a space with my INTJ sister, and she understood the importance of my detox/alone time every day, which meant that she gave me some time to be on my own, right after we came back from a long day of being tourists, and in the morning, so I could do my all-important morning routine. 

The importance of alone time for an INFJ cannot be overemphasized. I’m not joking with the title of this post, when I say we literally will seem like different beings if we are not allowed to get our alone recharge time.

Normally, we seem like the most easy going people on the planet. At times, we might even be considered charming, and affable. But, if you put us into a situation where we are not allowed to spend a few hours a day on our own, chilling out, doing our thing, and recharging, we will turn into horrible monsters, who will destroy everything that stands in our path. We will turn into these other world beings, completely different from what you imagined we were like before.

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INFJs Are Magnets For Toxic People, And It’s Worse Because We Can Be Major People Pleasers

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I read somewhere that INFJs are people pleasers who hate people, and that description could not be more apt. At least for me. 

I love people, but hate humanity. I also have had a weird childhood, where I felt unworthy of love over and over again, resulting in me doing anything and everything to prove my worthiness to the people around me. This included being an extreme people pleaser, who would do anything to get a smile or a note of approval from my friends, family, and coworkers.

The problem is that narcissists or toxic people sense this people pleasing tendency within us, and gravitate towards us, not only because we are filled with light and empathic healing tendencies, but because they know we want to make them happy and we will do anything to do so.

In essence, we will degrade our own selves, physically, mentally, and spiritually, in order to take care of the people around us. Which is made worse when we are doing it for a person who is essentially toxic and an energy vampire, and who’s just going to keep on taking and taking from us, without giving anything in return. This depletes us even further, and makes us feel even less worthy of the world and of the love around us.

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INFJs Wear The Label Of Counselor Quite Seriously – We Don’t Take Other People’s Needs Lightly, But That Ends Up Hurting Us Sometimes

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The label of a counselor is a heavy one to carry. Just because INFJs are supposedly counselors, it doesn’t mean that we are counselors 24/7, or that we are on the job 24/7. Unfortunately, that’s what people assume about us, and that means that we spend a lot of our time being counselors when we are just too exhausted for it or just not up for it for whatever reason. Or if we have learned how to say no, we spend a lot of our time saying it, and running away from people.

Don’t get me wrong, I love taking care of people. Being an INFJ, nothing gives me more pleasure than sitting down with someone, listening to their problems, offering some advice, or a shoulder to cry upon, and then seeing them rejuvenated and happy walking off to their next destination. That is one of my greatest pleasures.

But, sometimes (a lot of times), I am just not in the mood for it. Or I’m too tired for it. Or I have already counseled some other people today and I need a break from it. 

And the older I get, the more annoyed I get with people and their inconsequential problems, meaning that I am getting more and more cantankerous as I get older, and less and less counselor-like. 

Especially since I have a YouTube channel which focuses on counseling the counselors, I speak to INFJs about how to become better INFJs, and I get dozens of emails every week from INFJs and non-INFJs asking me for help. This is in addition to the people who are asking me for help face-to-face. 

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Why Do INFJs Hate Being Touched By Strangers? – It’s All About Contamination In My Opinion

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I’m originally from India. Although I was 5 months old when my parents moved us first to the Middle East, and then to Canada. I’m grateful as an INFJ that my parents did move us, because Indians have really no concept of personal space. Which means that whenever I go back to visit my relatives, even though I love them so much, I always feel grateful to come back to the solitude and vast personal space etiquette of Canada. Conclusion: Energy matters.

It’s an INFJ thing. Which is devastatingly confusing to all of the people around me. Because if I like someone and I am friends with them, I am overly touchy-feely, hugging them, slapping them on the shoulder, or the thigh. Even in relationships, I love PDAs, and will always be glomping myself onto my significant other, much to the chagrin of the people around us.

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