Decisions May Be Hard For INFJs Because They Have A Tendency To See 8 Sides To Everything

  • Reading time:6 mins read

One of the main reasons my INTJ sister and I fight is because she doesn’t understand that I see the world in extreme shades of gray. Whereas for her the world is more a case of black and white, with a little bit of gray somewhere in there, sometimes. Decisions are easier for her, and not so much for me.

In fact, this is one of the main reasons why I despised myself for the longest time. I used to think that I am weak or I don’t really have a mind of my own, because I would flit from opinion to opinion, depending on the day, and my mood. Even now, I have a tendency to occasionally negate my awesome ability to see both sides of the situation, and mediate on the subject matter. 

Why are INFJs like this? Our ability to see all sides of the situation comes from our deep empathic capacity. We have a big heart, but we are also able to use said big heart, to peer into people’s minds and hearts, and see life from their perspective. Whenever I am in the middle of an argument between two people I love, I have an extremely difficult time siding with one person or the other, because truly I can see the world from both of their sides, and both of their sides are right in their own way. How could I possibly choose one more than the other? It seems an impossible task. 

Continue Reading Decisions May Be Hard For INFJs Because They Have A Tendency To See 8 Sides To Everything

Why Is The INFJ I’m Dating Slowly Pulling Away From Me?

  • Reading time:6 mins read

One of the magnificent things about having a YouTube channel about INFJs is many non-INFJs message me asking questions about their beloved INFJs and about a potential doorslam. This really makes me ecstatic. I know how hard it can be for an INFJ, one of the introverted Myers-Briggs personality types, to be in a relationship, especially a romantic one. So, I take these questions as an opportunity to help my fellow INFJs find long-lasting love. 

Time after time, INTJs, INFPs, ENFPs, and others ask me the same question about their particular INFJ. “I finally told the INFJ that I like her/him, and at first things seemed fine. But now, it seems like they are slowly pulling away from me. I’m not sure if they are no longer interested in me in that way, or if they are just taking time to evaluate their feelings.”

Continue Reading Why Is The INFJ I’m Dating Slowly Pulling Away From Me?

INFJs Have A Foot In Both Camps – That’s Why They Never Fit Anywhere Perfect

  • Reading time:6 mins read

Something people always say about me is that fitting in is my middle name. I have friends in the nerdy tech circle, and I have friends in the hippie sage-burning circle. I have friends in the digital nomad circle, and I have friends in the spiritual community. And it’s not like I fit in perfectly into either group. It’s not like I am a square peg in a round hole, but I fit in just enough so that people in that group consider me a good friend or close acquaintance. I guess that’s what makes things difficult.

There is no circle or group in which I fit in perfectly. I can play the game and fit in reasonably well with all of the people that I hang out with. And I guess, that’s what it’s all about – playing the game well. 

In fact, one of the major complaints that I receive from INFJs who send me emails and messages everyday is this – I feel like I don’t belong anywhere. 

This disconnection from the people around them is one of the main reasons why INFJs feel so much gratitude, almost to the point of tears, when they discover the INFJ communities online. Comment after comment on my YouTube channel focused on INFJs says this – “Thank you for making me feel less alone, less like a freak. Thank you for giving me a space to completely and totally belong.”

Continue Reading INFJs Have A Foot In Both Camps – That’s Why They Never Fit Anywhere Perfect

Why Do So Many INFJs Ignore Their Intuition, When It’s Truly One Important Superpower

  • Reading time:6 mins read

If I had to tell people one thing about myself that I absolutely despise, it’s this – I hate that I ignore the signs and messages that my Introverted Intuition (Ni) sends me on a daily basis. Even when it has lined the messages with neon red LED lights and flashed them in front of my face, I still manage to disbelieve its importance, or veracity. 

It’s not just me, though. Lots of INFJs message or email me on a weekly basis with stories of how they ignored their intuition to their own detriment, and that still didn’t teach them to stop doing that foolishness. It irks us to no end. We are like Spiderman who knows he has the capacity to save the world, but spends all of his city chasing after Lois Lane instead. I mean, lust aside, how many people in the world have such a powerful intuition at their fingertips? Not many. 

Why can’t we just appreciate the messages coming to us from our intuition? Can’t we just believe what it says? Why do we doubt its accuracy, time and time again? Why do we falter and disbelieve and end up needing more proof?

Continue Reading Why Do So Many INFJs Ignore Their Intuition, When It’s Truly One Important Superpower

INFJs Don’t Know How To Alleviate Their Anxiety Sometimes, So They End Up Organizing Life Instead

  • Reading time:6 mins read

INFJs usually have no idea how they are feeling. What are feelings and how do they show up in the body? For a person with a poor mind-body connection, INFJs usually don’t know how they feel and end up emulating others around them who are feeling something. But this usually ends up in them picking up on the anxious and neurotic feelings of the people around them. 

It’s a Catch 22. We don’t know how to feel so we open up ourselves to other people’s feelings. Then we chameleon-ize ourselves. And that causes us to pick up unwanted energies from other people. Eep. 

Either way, an INFJ’s reaction to all of this anxiety or unwanted emotion is usually to clean house. Literally. They will start going into a frenzy of cleaning and organizing everything that they own, and everything that they can. 

Continue Reading INFJs Don’t Know How To Alleviate Their Anxiety Sometimes, So They End Up Organizing Life Instead

For The INFJ, It Was Never Ever About Being Right, But About Doing What’s Right

  • Reading time:6 mins read

This is a big thing for an INFJ, so if you are interested in learning more about us, please pay attention. This will actually happen a lot in real life, where humans will inordinate amounts of time arguing with some other human online or offline, because they have this weird desire to be proven right. 

As an INFJ, I look at most arguments and wonder why people are wasting so much time and energy arguing about something that doesn’t really matter. It doesn’t matter who’s wrong or who’s right. 

For example, in the argument between people who believe in global warming, and those who don’t, it doesn’t actually matter who’s right. Does it really? The whole point is that either way, humanity is killing off and endangering species and hectares of forest, left right and centre. And that can’t be good for the environment, no matter which way you look at it. You might not believe that the Earth is getting warmer, although anyone who’s living on the planet right now can sense that the days are definitely hotter… but you can see that overpopulation and overconsumption isn’t good for the planet in any case.

Continue Reading For The INFJ, It Was Never Ever About Being Right, But About Doing What’s Right

INFJs Have A Tendency To Be Insomniacs When In Their Default Mode Of Obsessing, Learning, And Growing

  • Reading time:6 mins read

INFJs don’t know how to take care of themselves. We really don’t. I mean, we are good at taking care of others. We know exactly what all of the people, whom we love in our life, need. Exactly and always. We will be able to tell you how much food you need, how much alone time, how much water, and we will worry incessantly about your physical and emotional needs.

But we have no idea how to put all of that caring back upon ourselves. In fact, we are probably so busy taking care of others, and spending time on our obsessions, and interests, that we forget to do the basics for ourselves.

An Unhealthy INFJ With A Terrible Mind Body Connection

For an extremely unhealthy INFJ, it will be easy for them to forget all of the basics for days on end. In fact, I have had moments when I was younger when I forgot to eat, and sleep for days. I would skip two or three meals and then wonder why I had this pounding headache. I wouldn’t be able to sleep all night. And then wake up wondering how was I ever going to get through the day on no sleep. I would forget to brush my teeth (gross, I know!), and I would forget to change my clothes. Worst of all, I would forget to drink water for hours on end, as I sat there on my computer with my latest obsession, and realize that I was in the early stages of dehydration.

It’s not a nice place to be, especially since as an INFJ, we are also extremely wary of other people taking care of us. Thus, I would get into a mode where I had not taken care of myself physically for days, and a loved one would try to feed me or take care of me, and I would lash out upon them like a surprised viper. 

Continue Reading INFJs Have A Tendency To Be Insomniacs When In Their Default Mode Of Obsessing, Learning, And Growing

INFJs Go Crazy When They Aren’t Allowed Their Time Away From People To Recharge

  • Reading time:6 mins read

Recently, I went travelling with my parents and sister to Morocco, something that has been on my bucket list, ever since I watched the movie, Casablanca. Now, believe me, when I say, I love my parents, and sister, more than anyone else on the planet. But, I was about ready to commit murder at the end of the 9 days, because I had spent almost 24-7 with them for those 9 days, except when I was dead asleep to the world, exhausted from all of the sightseeing.

Thankfully, I was sharing a space with my INTJ sister, and she understood the importance of my detox/alone time every day, which meant that she gave me some time to be on my own, right after we came back from a long day of being tourists, and in the morning, so I could do my all-important morning routine. 

The importance of alone time for an INFJ cannot be overemphasized. I’m not joking with the title of this post, when I say we literally will seem like different beings if we are not allowed to get our alone recharge time.

Normally, we seem like the most easy going people on the planet. At times, we might even be considered charming, and affable. But, if you put us into a situation where we are not allowed to spend a few hours a day on our own, chilling out, doing our thing, and recharging, we will turn into horrible monsters, who will destroy everything that stands in our path. We will turn into these other world beings, completely different from what you imagined we were like before.

Continue Reading INFJs Go Crazy When They Aren’t Allowed Their Time Away From People To Recharge

INFJs Are Magnets For Toxic People, And It’s Worse Because We Can Be Major People Pleasers

  • Reading time:6 mins read

I read somewhere that INFJs are people pleasers who hate people, and that description could not be more apt. At least for me. 

I love people, but hate humanity. I also have had a weird childhood, where I felt unworthy of love over and over again, resulting in me doing anything and everything to prove my worthiness to the people around me. This included being an extreme people pleaser, who would do anything to get a smile or a note of approval from my friends, family, and coworkers.

The problem is that narcissists or toxic people sense this people pleasing tendency within us, and gravitate towards us, not only because we are filled with light and empathic healing tendencies, but because they know we want to make them happy and we will do anything to do so.

In essence, we will degrade our own selves, physically, mentally, and spiritually, in order to take care of the people around us. Which is made worse when we are doing it for a person who is essentially toxic and an energy vampire, and who’s just going to keep on taking and taking from us, without giving anything in return. This depletes us even further, and makes us feel even less worthy of the world and of the love around us.

Continue Reading INFJs Are Magnets For Toxic People, And It’s Worse Because We Can Be Major People Pleasers