I notice a curious trend among people nowadays. They are never truly excited about anything they are doing. Is it ‘uncool’ to be excited about anything anymore? Are we supposed to maintain a facade of boredom and cynicism on the outside? Or is it that nothing exciting happens on Earth anymore, and we need to travel into space to experience anything new and meaningful?
Drugs don’t do it anymore either. After the hundredth hit, even drugs seem to lose their magic.
Not only are people bored out of their minds, but they are also spending way too much time on things that make them feel like shit day in and day out.
Do You Have Anything You Are Saying Fuck Yes To?
I heard a saying the other day – I don’t remember who it was and I apologize for that (I think it was Mark Manson). It went this like – If you aren’t saying ‘Fuck Yes’ to something, then it should be a hell no.
Translation: If you are not excited about something that it almost makes you shit your pants with excitement, then it means, you need to stay the hell away from that endeavour, and go find something that makes you shit with excitement. Or almost shit with excitement.
Now the big question – the question you’ve probably been expecting. Do you have anything in your life right now – anything at all – that you are saying ‘fuck yes’ to on a daily basis? Anything?
If the answer is yes, skip this blog post and go directly to Home (Or is it Jail, Monopoly was never my strong suit).
If the answer is no, not even one single thing, stop reading this post, and go find something that is going to make you say ‘fuck yes’ on a daily basis.
‘Fuck Yeses’ Don’t Have To Be A Big Deal
We think our ‘Fuck Yeses’ have to change the world, eliminate world hunger, cause North Korea’s dictator to give up his regime, and cause all cats in the world to love us unconditionally.
In a word, impossible.
So, that’s not the point of our ‘fuck yeses.’ One person’s ‘fuck yes’ might be another person’s ‘hell no’. We are not looking to others to create our ‘fuck yeses.’ We are just doing it based on what we like.
Pretend You Are The Only Person Alive
Thus, your task is to pretend like the rest of the world doesn’t exist right now. C’mon now, pretend you are the last person left on Earth. You don’t have to save anyone, you don’t have to do any good, and you don’t have to do anything to please anyone. Now, sit down and choose your ‘fuck yes’ item.
It can whatever what you want it to be. It can be as minuscule as you want it to be. Or as big as you want it to be. Or as medium-sized as you want.
It could be that you spend 30 minutes a day playing with your pet and that makes your heart go ‘fuck yes’ in a fuzzy way. Or it could be that you spend every morning climbing a mountain near your house and that makes your heart sing an entirely new beat of ‘fuck yes.’
The task doesn’t matter. The feelings do.
Are You Saying ‘Fuck Yes’ To Everything?
Now this is another issue people are dealing with. For some reason, we are so disconnected from our true selves and our hearts. Is it because we don’t spend time in nature, or because we spend too much on digital devices, or we spend too much listening to others’ dictions for us? I don’t know.
The point is a lot of people spend way too much time saying ‘fuck yes’ to everything. Yes, I’ll do that, and that, and that, and give me one of that as well.
They are able to justify it in their minds that every single item on that huge to-do list is highly important and precious. No, I cannot give up even a single item on this list. Not even a single one.
So much so that they spend sometimes their entire lives working on things that weren’t ‘fuck yeses’, but ended up taking time away from things that could have been ‘fuck yeses.’ Things that were delegated to the back door because there just wasn’t enough time for it.
But Don’t We Have To Be Adults In This World
People have told me from when I was very young, about 10 or 11, to start behaving like an adult. ‘You are so childish, why don’t you behave more maturely,’ or something to that effect.
I was quite confused at the time, because I was a child. But I was expected to start behaving like an adult. And, so, as a good child, I did.
Now I realize that was mistaken understanding on the parts of the adults around me. I realize now when I look back to that time and even around me right now, ‘Most people have no idea how to be an adult, they are making it up as they go.’
[bctt tweet=”Actually, I am going to go even more bolder. No one has any idea how to be an adult. ” username=”BoomShikha”]
But for some reason, all of us have to switch from being children very quickly and very early on, and become adults. What the hell is all of this about?
Children Know How To Say Fuck Yes, We Don’t
I think that’s the whole issue with this ‘hell no’ vs. ‘fuck yes’ debate.
As children we have a really good idea about our ‘fuck yeses’. We like to play in a variety of different ways, and everything is a ‘fuck yes’ to us. Even school can be a ‘fuck yes’ if done right. So we live a life filled with ‘fuck yeses.’
Then, all of the adults see us having fun and living a ‘fuck yes’ life and they get scared. Their inner child starts speaking up and wants to live a ‘fuck yes’ life as well. But they don’t know how to do that.
The better thing to do is to remove all the ‘fuck yeses’ from their vicinity – get the children to start behaving like adults asap. That will teach them.
Thus, the saga of ‘Why I don’t know why I need to be an adult’ begins.
People don’t know how to be an adult, but they know it involves a lot of ‘hell nos’. Everything they do, they are doing because they are supposed to do it. Because they are an adult, and not because they actually want to do any of it.
First Step: Let’s All Give Up This Rude Game Of Trying To Be Adults
The first step to starting to say more ‘fuck yeses’ is to stop pretending like we know anything about what being an adult is all about. You don’t know and I don’t know.
Coming back to my childhood, and being told to be an adult all the time. Once, I realized that I didn’t want to be an adult, because it seemed like no fun at all, I decided at the ripe old age of 21 or thereabout that I wanted to be a child, I wanted to live a ‘fuck yeses’ and I wanted to live all of my dreams right now, not some time in the future.
I decided I didn’t want to play that game anymore. I didn’t want to be an adult. Because it was all a facade anyways. No one really knows how to be an adult, and we are all pushing each other to be more adult-like.
[bctt tweet=”Let’s give up the whole charade, and start living our ‘fuck yeses’ life right now.” username=”BoomShikha”]
Second Step: Learning How To Say ‘Hell No’ To Hell No Items
Besides stopping to play the adult game, I would say another step that is crucial to this ‘fuck yes’ life is to learning how to say no more often, and start figuring out who we truly are. Let’s break each of these down.
If you want to bring more ‘fuck yes’ items into your life, then you need to create some space in your life. You cannot bring more good stuff into your life, if you don’t have any space for it. So, from here on out, start saying ‘hell no’ to anything that isn’t a ‘fuck yes’.
Unfortunately, you are going to notice two things because of this.
- You are going to start creating a lot of free time in your life at first. Oh man, you are going to be so bored at first, because you’ve probably never had this much free time in your life. Previously, your life was filled with nonsensical tasks and events. All of them ‘hell no’ things. Now that they are gone, and you haven’t filled it with ‘fuck yes’ items yet, you are going to feel empty, lonely, alone, and depressed. That’s okay, it’s just the sign of good things to come.
- You are also going to start creating a lot of strife in your life, because the people who you are saying no to, friends, family, colleagues, are going to start disliking you and giving up on you. That’s all fine and dandy – you don’t need these ‘hell no’ people in your life anyways.
Learn how to say no right now. It is highly crucial. Don’t worry about losing people. You will start bringing the right kind of ‘fuck yes’ people into your life pretty quickly.
Nature abhors a vacuum, so she fills it up with something pretty quickly. If you remove all the ‘hell nos’, then you will notice the ‘fuck yeses’ automatically taking their place.
Third Step: Learn Who You Are So You Can Figure Out Your ‘Fuck Yes’ Items
This is the sad part of life. Most of us don’t know who we are and what our ‘fuck yes’ items would be.
For the longest time, brainwashed by society, parents, and friends, I thought, happiness is climbing the corporate ladder, making oodles of money, getting married, and having children. Wow, was that wrong!
Now, after a lot of work on myself, a lot of removal of ‘hell nos’ and a lot of trials and errors, I know my ‘fuck yeses’ are all about writing, creating, and exploring.
I would never have known this, if I hadn’t gone out and learned about myself. It was an interesting experience – I had to wipe clean the slate of everything that I had learned over 30 years of brainwashing, and then, relearn who I am. Relearn what I like, and what makes me come truly alive.
You know how you’ve found one of your ‘fuck yes’ items? You go into flow state. Everything seems effortless, timeless, egoless, and rich with meaning, and truth. You feel so alive that your heart is literally singing every second. Every cell in your body is buzzing with aliveness.
There is nothing that compares.
Fourth Step: Become Brave So You Can Beat The Naysayers Down
I’m living my ideal life right now that is a succession of ‘fuck yeses’ after ‘fuck yeses’. It’s just a fuck yes love fest. But, even now, people will message me and tell me that I’m lucky or I’m stupid or I’m foolish. I’m lucky because I am living this life. Or I’m stupid because I don’t know that this isn’t real life. Or I’m foolish, because I believe that we are supposed to live a ‘fuck yes’ life.
They tell me, in order to live in this world, we have to be adults and live in the real world. The real world being something filled with ‘hell nos.’ I don’t know about you, but I think this world is magic. A place filled with dreams, joy, and ‘fuck yeses’.
So whenever people start telling me to be an adult and live in the real world, my spidey senses start tingling and I start sensing bullshit.
I want to tell them to stop feeding this nonsense to people. But what I do is I close myself off to those people, and believe even harder in my ‘fuck yes’ life. We need to become brave, so we can live this life every single day, and not let their words bring us back down into the ‘adult’ realm.
Be brave. Ah, be courageous. Yes, be bold. Take risks. Do what you can to live this ‘fuck yes’ life while you are still alive.