One of the main things that irked me about being an introvert for the longest time was that if I displayed even a smidgeon of extrovertedness, everyone started looking at me like I had grown two heads.
But more than that, when I started off with new acquaintances, being extroverted, when I went back to being an introvert, I started receiving all of this flak about deceiving people.
I didn’t make you believe anything – I am just being myself, for god’s sake.
Okay, rant over, but not really.
I love all of my extroverted friends – I really do. But there are definitely certain things that I wish they knew about my introverted nature, because seriously that would make my life so much easier. If every extroverted person on the planet could read this article, it would be such a boon for all of the introverted people in their lives.
There are 3 things you need to know about us being introverts that will keep this confusion at bay.
1. Introverts aren’t introverts all the time!!
This is such a big one that I want to emphasize it over and over again, in bolded and capital letters. We are introverts, but we can and do have extroverted moments. Thus, you might get confused by that. I understand. But that’s the way of it.
We might have long periods of introversion, which makes sense. We will disappear into our caves, and not message you back for long periods of time.
But we might also have long periods of extroversion, which will confuse you. Don’t hate us for it, we are not doing it to bug you, that’s just how we are.
Sometimes, you might meet us in an introverted phase, or in an extroverted phase – either way, if we tell you we are introverts, believe us, please.
2. If we tell you we are introverts, please believe us.
This one bugs me a lot. I am always telling people that I am an introvert. Because I find it easier to warn people about this, as soon as I meet them, so they don’t get confused by my random ambivert nature. But they are always arguing with me, not only on my YouTube channel, on which I come across as extroverted, but also in real life. “Oh no, you are so not an introvert!
You can’t be!”
Why do I need to convince anyone what I am? Why is this even an argument? Why are you trying to tell me what I am? Does this make sense, if the roles were reversed?
If I was an extrovert, and I was telling you I am an extrovert, would you argue with me, and say, “Oh, no, you are not an extrovert!”
Probably not. In fact, I have never argued with someone on this point. If they tell me they are an introvert or that they are an extrovert, I accept it with open arms.
3. Don’t make us feel bad for oscillating between being an extrovert and an introvert.
When we are around people that we feel comfortable with, we can very well behave like extroverts. In fact, almost all of my friends, I would say 90%, are extroverted. Which means that when I go out with them, I turn on my extroverted mode. Otherwise, it would be way too exhausting to be around them.
It’s not as easy as turning on a switch though, so keep that in mind. It takes a lot of energy, effort, and deliberate, conscious thought, in order to turn on that extroverted switch.
If I’m around a new bunch of people, in a new class or workshop for example, I behave like an introvert most times, because I do not know how to behave around them yet.
Thus, I could meet up with you during my extroverted or my introverted phase, who knows. And this could lead you to believe falsely that I am an extrovert.
I have had many situations where this transpired, and the person in question, made me feel guilty for being who I am. For being an introvert. Or for being different people in different situations.
We are not lying about who we are. We are not deceiving you. We are not changing ourselves. This is just a normal fact of our introverted life.
Everyone Wears Different Masks In This World
Everyone puts on masks when they travel through this world. Because this world is particularly extroverted (75% of the population is extroverted), introverted people have to put on an even heavier mask to travel through.
Almost all introverts I know, have this heavy burden they have to carry, because they feel bad for being introverts.
Almost all of them have wished at some point in their lives to be extroverts – it would be so much easier they tell themselves, to be extroverts.
I get it. I have had the same thoughts.
If I Were An Extrovert… The What If Game
If I was an extrovert, I wouldn’t have to pretend to be one, I could just be exuberant, cheerful, and energetic around other people. I wouldn’t have to pump myself up, or charge myself up in order to go out to social events. I wouldn’t have to come back home after an especially strenuous day and hide under my covers in a dark, silent room, in order to feel human again. I wouldn’t have to apologize over and over again for being an introvert, because I need more time than my extroverted friends to recharge and recuperate after a major social event (or any social event, for that matter).
But, I also am beginning to love who I am. And the main reason for this is that I have accepted myself as an introvert, but also I have realized it is absolutely okay for me to be extroverted at certain times, and that’s not a deviation from my true self, but a teeny-tiny part of it.
Embracing all sides to me is definitely the first full step towards loving myself more and more as an introvert.