How Did I Get So Lucky?
I have been doing a bunch of workshops for digital nomads on Shame, Vulnerability, Sexuality, Imposter Syndrome, and Creativity.
One big question comes up over and over again for people living awesome, amazing lives in Chiang Mai (CM). And I think for most people living awesome lives that are bigger and better than their counterparts.
What big question, you ask?
It is the question that affects all of us when we are trying to do something bigger than what we’ve done before.
These digital nomads say that they feel that they are really lucky to be living such an amazing, awesome, and free life. But sometimes (read: all the time) they wonder what did they do to deserve such good luck.
Why are they the ones who get to live such awesome lives?
Why are they able to eschew all of the madness of 9-5 lives and the Rat Race, and live this life of magnanimous proportions?
These questions bug them over and over again. They always ask me what they can do to get over this stupid bullshit assumption in their head. The assumption being that they don’t deserve this awesome life that they have worked so freaking hard to create.
Who Do You Think You Are?
The question that plagues us all who are on a bigger path than others around us is ‘Who do you think you are? Who allowed you to live such a big life and to let go of all the entanglements of the 9-5 life?
The critical/censor voice in our head says to us, ‘You are nothing special. You are just a nobody who doesn’t deserve to live a fancy, free, and awesome life. So you should go back to the normal 9-5 grind, and give up trying to leave. If you don’t give up now, they will find out that you don’t really know what you are talking about. Once they find out you are an imposter, they will take you back to your old life in a shame-filled ceremony. People will point and laugh at you. You will have to deal with the consequences of getting too big for your breaches for the rest of your life. Better to go back now. I’m telling you this for your own good.’
When we get these questions thrown at us from this horrible nagging voice, we are inclined to believe it. I mean, what do we really know? We are just living this life by fluke. We didn’t do anything to make it happen. Right??
Absolutely freaking WRONG.
First, We Are Special
Every single one of us, no matter if we are Digital Nomads or not are special unique human beings. But if you are living the Digital Nomad lifestyle, it means, that you really had to have a unique way of thinking to make it happen.
Look at what a Digital Nomad has to do – we move away from all of our comfort zones, and familiarities to a new country, we work online creating something out of nothing, we are constantly bombarded by new and we have to adapt and be flexible enough to deal with it all. That’s just the tip of the iceberg.
I Am Special And Fuck You For Saying Otherwise
Who is telling you that you are not special? Whose voice is that in your head telling you that you suck? Really figure that one out. Whenever I do my workshops, I tell people to ask themselves, who is that freaking voice that tells you that you suck.
Once you know whose voice it is (a parent or a teacher or a sister or a partner), it will be easier for you to tell it to go fuck itself.
I talk back to the voice in my head constantly. I tell it constantly that it is absolutely freaking wrong, and I know what the hell I am doing. Even if I feel like I don’t. It’s all about building yourself up in your head.
Our minds create our beautiful worlds. If we cannot control what is happening inside of our heads, we will never be able to create amazing digital nomad lifestyles just the way we like it.
Eventually, after days of telling myself, I know what the hell I am doing, I start believing it. I might have moments where I fall back upon disbelief and dishonouring myself, but I just keep at it. This believing in yourself business is a constant lifelong practice.
Second, We Worked Hard To Make This Life Happen
Digital nomads don’t just get up one day and decide, ‘Hmm, today’s a good day, to give up all of my belongings, and possessions, and move to a different country to work on my online business full-time.’
That isn’t how it usually goes.
Not only does all of this take a lot of physical prep work like selling your possessions, renting out your place, building a business online, marketing, and all of that jazz. But more than that, it takes a lot of mental prep work. I spend months telling myself (and even still) that I am a digital nomad, and I can do this.
Even after living as a DN for months now, I still have a hard time believing that I am doing it. My inner critic/censor beats me down even now.
But I know how hard I work to make this life work. I wake up at 7am every single day even on weekends, and I work all day, not only on my business, but my physical body to keep it strong, and my mindset to keep it positive. I am constantly meeting up with new people, with the intent of doing collaborations with them in the future. In addition, I am also constantly learning about my new country, its cultures, and customs. New foods, friends, work and perspective.
Everything is freaking new to me every single day.
This is how it is for all Digital Nomads. We all worked hard to make this life happen. It didn’t fall to us from the skies above.
So appreciate yourself!
Third, Everyone Feels The Same Way No Matter How Successful
The interesting thing to me is that I have been chatting with people from all walks of life about imposter syndrome and I have noticed that it is something that affects all of us no matter which country we live in, what business we are in, and what level we are at. It affects people who are extremely successful in their field, and it affects people who have just begun.
I don’t know about you, but it makes me feel really good knowing that everyone is experiencing this imposter syndrome. It means, I’m not crazy, and this is just another bullshit excuse that I can throw out the window so I can keep on working on creating this awesome lifestyle.
My recommendation to you is to go to someone who you think is absolutely put together, and is on top of their game. Someone you think doesn’t have this imposter syndrome who-do-you-think-you-are bullshit in their head. Now go to them. Ask them about it. I swear to you, 10 times out of 10, they will tell you, they feel exactly the same.
The difference between you and them is that they got over their sickening limiting beliefs, and kept on working on their business. Are you going to let these nonsense beliefs hold you back? Or are you going to keep on plugging on your business, day in and day out?
Fourth, We Know What We Are Talking About, Fuck The Censor
In the few months that I have been living on the road, I have learned so much about being a Digital nomad. I have people coming up to me in Facebook groups online all the time, asking me questions about Digital nomading and I am surprised at how quickly and easily I can come up with an answer for them.
We all know what the hell we are talking about. We are walking the walk, and we need to start believing in ourselves more.
I shouldn’t be surprised by the amount of knowledge I have stored in my brain. I definitely shouldn’t discount it as something ‘everyone knows’.
The inner critic/censor doesn’t know what the hell he/she is talking about. Stop listening to it, and start working on engineering your dream life.
Imposter Syndrome Can Be Killed With Gratitude
I think most negative emotions or negative thoughts can be killed with a spray of gratitude. Whenever I feel like I am not good enough, or I am not doing enough, or whatever, I spend some time in gratitude.
‘I love my life. I love my body and all it can do. I love my family and how supportive they are. I love everything I am doing and how awesome everything is. I love how beautiful this world is, and how there is so much to do and see. I love the fact that I have such amazing eyesight. I love all of my senses. I love how powerful I am. I love my mental strength. I love the pretty clothes I get to wear. I love the delicious food and water I get to eat and drink on a daily basis. I love all of the love and support that showers upon me every single day. I love all the money that flows towards me in rivers of abundance. I love all that I have accomplished till now. I love myself and how amazing I am.’
This is just a snippet of what I write in my journal every morning when I am practicing gratitude. I start every day with gratitude. That’s just the best way for me to begin any space.
I implore you to try it as well. If you are feeling down or if you feel something isn’t right with your inner or outer world, write down all the things you are grateful for. Or sing it out loud. Or dance it out.
Instantaneously, you will be reminded that your life is actually quite wonderful and you are put on this Earth to do amazing things, lots of which you haven’t even gotten to yet.
Imposter Syndrome Can Strangle Dreams
Imposter Syndrome can kill dreams, but we are not going to let that happen. We are going to kill it in the bud. We are going to strangle it with affirmations, power statements, and gratitude. Eventually, when it comes up, we will be able to laugh at it and say, ‘Ha, you can’t get at me, dawg.’
Let me know what you think of this post, and if you are plagued by Imposter Syndrome, I’m here to help. Holler at me at boomshikha at themillionairehippie.designextreme.com dot com. Cheers!