At least once a week, I get an email or message from someone saying that they are jealous of me, or jealous of my lifestyle, or jealous of my courage. Whatever they might be jealous of, I am sick and tired of them saying it. Don’t get me wrong, I used to say exactly the same thing over and over again, with regards to people who I was following. These people were living my ideal life, but in my heart of hearts I believed that I couldn’t live my ideal life as they were. I had something missing within me that made it impossible for me to live the kind of life that I wished to live.
So I sat around feeling sorry for myself, and telling them in messages or comments, how jealous I was of their life.
So Many Excuses In My Head
The change came when I started listening to my own bullshit and realized that everything I say to myself about not being able to live my ideal life was nonsense. It truly was. I had a long list of excuses.
Just excuse after excuse. It was all made up fictional nonsense. Seriously. None of it was actually true in any sense of the word. It wasn’t true because it was true, and it wasn’t true because I thought it to be true. It was just my reality at the moment. A false reality to be sure. I had made up this world inside of my head that made me think that I will never be able to live my ideal life.
My ideal life was being led by so many other people. That’s when I decided to meet some of these people.
I Started Meeting These Successful People
Once I realized that some of these individuals were actually living my ideal life and they were quite accessible, I started meeting up either face-to-face, or online with these people. I wanted to be around their energy and their vibe. I wanted to see who they were. What they were. How they interacted with the world. What they wore. How they spoke.
I wanted to immerse myself in them, so I could see how I needed to change myself to fit that mould.
Of course, I realized two very important things. First of all, they were all exactly the same as me. That is, they weren’t smarter than me, or richer than me, or more eloquent than me. They weren’t prettier than me, or better than me in anyway. I was the same as them.
Second of all, all of them were unique in their own ways, and they had chosen that uniqueness to be their USP – their unique selling point. They used their uniqueness to find and attract their tribes. Didn’t downplay their uniqueness or their oddities. They played them up and used it to build relationships.
Please Do The Same – Meet Up With The Successful People In Your Field
The reality is that these meetings changed my life. And if you are at all feeling like you are never going to be able to make it in a chosen field, go and meet up some individuals who are successful in that field. If you are worried that these individuals won’t be able to make the time to see you, you are quite mistaken.
Most people who have made it know the journey it took for them to get to where they are. So they are more than willing to help out those who are still in the process. They know how tough it can be, and they want to be supportive. They know how much support they received in their own journey and they want to do the same for others, a sort of pay-it-forward for entrepreneurship.
So go out, find some of these awesome people in your field, and ask them for advice. Ask them how they do it. Talk to them. Figure out what makes them tick.
Almost every single time, you are going to be surprised at how ‘normal’ and similar to you these people are. They aren’t anything special. But they are persistent – they stuck with something they wanted to succeed at and they worked at it, until they were successful.
If They Could Do It, I Could Do It
I realized talking to them that if they could do it, I could do it as well. There was literally nothing holding me back anymore. Except the limiting beliefs in my head telling me that I can’t do it. Well, those were out of the window, because if they could do it, I can do it.
I kept on repeating this phrase to myself like a mantra, every time I wanted to falter.
“If they can do it, I can do it.”
It was my lifeline. I knew I would make it, if I just kept on at it. Until this point, I had never even attempted anything related to my ideal life, because it seemed just so out of reach for me. Well, now, it was not only not out of reach, but I could see it clearly within my grasp. I was ready for it to happen.
My Ideal Life Came To Fruition Easily
Most of us have this conception in our head. “Everything is hard, and takes forever.” But a lot of us could make things easier for ourselves, if we let go of of all of these limiting beliefs that are deep within our hearts. We believe we cannot do certain things because of who we are. Or we think we are good at certain other things because that’s what we are.
These are all beliefs. We can switch them around from one day to the next and switch around our life as well.
Once I realized that there is nothing missing within me and I can make my ideal life come to life, I went to work. I started doing what was necessary, and within a few months, I was living among my tribe in Chiang Mai. Currently, I wake up every day and I live exactly the kind of life I want to lead.
I do the things I want to do, with the people I want to hang out with.
It wasn’t easy and it wasn’t hard. It just was. I made it. And now it’s your turn.
Don’t Say You Are Jealous, Figure Out Why
Stop wasting your energy on being jealous without a purpose. Use your jealousy as a signpost. Figure out what you are jealous of exactly. What is it about them and their life that causes you to feel left out? Is it the travel? Or the money? Or the wardrobe? Mission statement? Babes?
What is it that causes you to want to live their life?
Make a list, and then one by one, start bringing those things into your life. When I first started on this, I wanted three things from my ideal life.
- I wanted to live in a hot tropical country among my tribe. Check, I’m now living in Chiang Mai, moved from Toronto.
- I wanted to spend all of my day working on creative projects. Check, I spend most of my day writing, podcasting, creating videos, and other cool creative projects.
- I wanted to travel more and have more control over my time. Check, I live in South-East Asia, and it is easy to travel to so many amazing countries from here. I have control over my time, so I can travel wherever I want. Working online has given me that freedom.
Once You Know Why, Bring It About
Again, once you know the reasons why you are jealous, don’t just talk about it. Stop talking and start living. Bring about the items into your life one by one. It might take a few months or even a few years. But it’s all good. Little by little you are going to bring all of the goodness you deserve and want into your life.
A few months from now, you are going to look back like I do everyday, and wonder what the hell happened. Every single day, I am in absolute awe that I live this life. I have to pinch myself on a daily basis. I can’t believe it.
It is a miracle.But it's actually not a miracle. Because I made it happen. Click To Tweet
I am sitting right now at my desk in my apartment listening to the rain fall and writing this post. It is a cool day so I have the fan in the background. I am chatting with people I met over the past few months, making plans for dinner or coffee. Writing, and loving everything I am doing. I am in control of my destiny and time.
It’s all possible. All of what we can imagine is possible in reality. We just have to begin the journey. From being jealous, to actually doing the work to bring it about.
What Happens Once You Achieve Your Ideal Life?
This is a question I get asked quite often as well. I mean, what happens once you’ve done it all and achieved it all? What do you do then? Do you rest on your laurels? Get bored? Recalibrate??
The reality is that it will take you some time to adjust to the idea of living your ideal life. I still wake up some days in my Chiang Mai apartment and I cannot believe where I am. Hearing the scooters in the background, and the roosters crowing away, I am momentarily gratified and baffled.
I am here, and I can’t believe it.
I get to work on my projects every single day. So lucky. I maintain an attitude of gratitude every single day. I never stop being grateful and absolutely in awe for everything that I have. Because this is just the beginning.
This Is Just The Beginning – Stop Jealousy, Get Shit Done
Once you start living your ideal life, you realize the power that is contained in your thoughts. We are all manifesting kings and queens. But we have forgotten our superpowers. We are living like mongrels, but we are actually royalty. We just need to remember our power.
So once we remember our power, and live our ideal life, we realize that this is truly just the beginning. Just the beginning.
There is so much more that is coming our way. There is nothing and nobody that is beyond our reach. We can do and be anything we want.
So much so that one day someone is going to message us out of the blue and say, “I am so jealous of you. I wish I could live this life that you lead.” And you can tell them, “Yes, you can. You can live a better life than the one I am leading. You have the power to make that happen.”
And perhaps, if you are feeling it, you will help them make their ideal life happen.
Don’t Send The “I’m Jealous” Messages Anymore
Instead of saying, “I’m so jealous,” next time try saying these words. “I love the way you live your life. I want to live the same kind of life. Could you give me some idea of how you made it happen for yourself?”
This way you are not a beggar and they are not a king. You are on equal footing. They are just a little bit further ahead than you. So it is time for you to take on the power that is your birthright.
Ask them to help you and they will. And ask the universe to live your ideal life and you will. Ask for everything you could possibly want and you will get it all.
All you have to do is ask. All you have to do is be the best version of yourself and be more. You can do this. I believe in you. Just begin right now. Right this very moment. Right now.